Jokes are a great way to get high on life. Weed is a great way to get high on... well, weed. When the two come together, you have a surefire way to have a great time with friends. Or if you're smoking a bowl by yourself, you can chuckle to your heart's content with these weed jokes. These puns and bits are ready to be harvested, so read them to your stoner friends to show them just how funny you are.
A lot of comedians rely on cannabis during their stand-up sets. However, even if you are stone-cold sober, you can still find the humor in these jokes about being stoned. After all, it's a pretty humorous activity. You smoke a plant, and then you want to watch The Wizard of Oz while eating Spicy Nacho Doritos for hours on end. It's a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
This list has gathered together plenty of funny weed jokes. You can bookmark this page if you are certain you will want to entertain your stoner friends with these hilarious bits. Make sure to vote for the ones that made you laugh the hardest. If you're already stoned, then these jokes will likely be 10 times funnier!
Why don't stoners get into arguments?
Because they take the high road.
What do you call a stoner dropping weed on the floor?
Did you hear about the kid who overdosed on weed?
Neither did I.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
How do you know you're a true stoner?
When you wash your bong more often than your dishes!
What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
What did the paper say to the weed?
What do you call someone who says they remember Woodstock?
What kind of car does a stoner drive?
How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
Screw it, just use a lighter.
What is April 21st known as?
National Drug Test Day
"You know, you can go to jail for weed."
"Wait, they have weed in jail?!"
Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?
Because "pot holder" was already taken.
How do sharks get high?
If two stoners are in the backseat, then who's driving?
What do you get when you eat marijuana?
A pot belly.
What did the stoner say before the cops broke up the party?
Let's blow this joint!
What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What's the difference between a drunk driver and stoned driver at a stop sign?
The drunk driver runs it. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.
What's the difference between stoners and politicians?
Politicians don't inhale. They just suck.
Why did the stoner put Cheerios in the ground?
He thought they were bagel seeds.
Did you hear about the stoners who planned on robbing a medicinal marijuana shop?
First, they had to case the joint.
What do you call a high Pikachu?
What do stoners put on spaghetti?