Weird Nature The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time  

Ranker Science
38.7k votes 11k voters 2M views 16 items

List Rules Vote up the most unusual animal penis.

List of weird animal penises. The strangest penises on earth are located within the confines of this marvelous list. Peruse the penises of animals from all walks of life to see how unique their units are. You will not believe the shapes you will see, the sizes you will hear, and the uses you will learn about. As if sex on "Animal Planet" wasn't crazy enough, these animal penises are the craziest and most cartoonish packages that a female counterpart could ever ask (or not ask) for.
Dolphin penis might sound like the name of a dinner in a foreign country, but they are in fact insanely retractable monsters that grope fellow dolphins (and the occasional sea turtle) left and right. If that's too normal, then perhaps a tortoise penis will be amusing enough. These liquid tubes are in the shape of a cylinder that, as a female tortoise seduces him, will result in a puffed up package that is twice its original size. And maybe you should check out your pet at home, since "red rocket" dog and "genitally-barbed" cat penises are some of the most unusual peckers out there.
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Echidnas is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: Imgur

Echidnas are spiny anteaters with four-headed penises. You read that correctly; when an echidna is having disgusting sex with a lady, two of its heads do nothing while the other two shoot a double-whammy of semen.

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Dolphins is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: Imgur

Dolphin dongs are out of this world and frankly deserve to stay underwater. Dolphins have penises that are so terrifyingly long and retractable that they are constantly wrapping them around females (and males) to have relations. The dolphin penis can also swivel, and can operate like a human hand, to feel out objects.

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3 2,437 VOTES


Pigs is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: via The Punt's

Pig penis might make you never want a slice of bacon again. Picture the curly corkscrew-like shape that makes a pig tail so cute and now apply that to its junk, because that's how it looks. This fits perfectly into the female pig's cervix, which also has a corkscrew-like shape. 

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Tortoises is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: Imgur
Maybe the tortoise beat the hare because it was so well-endowed. These hydraulic cylinders barely bend once they're boners, which swell with liquid and can double both in size and width when excited enough. Turtle penis muscles are also reportedly “physiologically rugged” and of “extreme endurance.”
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