Weird Nature The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time  

Ranker Science
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List Rules Vote up the most unusual animal penis.

List of weird animal penises. The strangest penises on earth are located within the confines of this marvelous list. Peruse the penises of animals from all walks of life to see how unique their units are. You will not believe the shapes you will see, the sizes you will hear, and the uses you will learn about. As if sex on "Animal Planet" wasn't crazy enough, these animal penises are the craziest and most cartoonish packages that a female counterpart could ever ask (or not ask) for.
 
Dolphin penis might sound like the name of a dinner in a foreign country, but they are in fact insanely retractable monsters that grope fellow dolphins (and the occasional sea turtle) left and right. If that's too normal, then perhaps a tortoise penis will be amusing enough. These liquid tubes are in the shape of a cylinder that, as a female tortoise seduces him, will result in a puffed up package that is twice its original size. And maybe you should check out your pet at home, since "red rocket" dog and "genitally-barbed" cat penises are some of the most unusual peckers out there.
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Dolphins


Dolphins is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: Imgur

Dolphin dongs are out of this world and frankly deserve to stay underwater. Dolphins have penises that are so terrifyingly long and retractable that they are constantly wrapping them around females (and males) to have relations. The dolphin penis can also swivel, and can operate like a human hand, to feel out objects.

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Horses


Horses is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 4.0

"Hung like a horse" might be a saying, but it'd also be horrifying. These weirdly big penises increase up to 4 times in size when aroused, accompanied by a urethral fossa, a pouch at the end of the glans (which also increases up to 4 times in size). 

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Dogs


Dogs is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo: Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 4.0

Humans seem to raise the animals with the strangest freaking penises. Dog members are so unbelievably weird.

Exhibit A: the "Copulatory Tie" - they've garnered nicknames like "witch fingers," which is extremely accurate, and of course "red rockets" with "lipstick."

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Elephants


Elephants is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Weirdest Animal Penises of All Time
Photo:  Derek Keats/Wikimedia Commons

Mazel tov to the elephant, who has one of the freakishly largest penises on the planet. It can reach up to 39 inches in length, and 6 inches in diameter (at the base). Its orifice is shaped like the letter Y while its erection is shaped like the letter S. The elephant penis also has a mind of its own, and is independently mobile from the rest of the pelvis.