Weirdest Things You Can Buy On AliExpress 

Donn Saylor
Updated August 1, 2018 2.3k votes 477 voters 30.8k views 15 items

List Rules Vote up the weirdest products.

Any product ever produced - whether in the present or past - can more than likely be found for sale somewhere on the internet. When you're in search of weird gifts, Amazon is a treasure trove of the bizarre. But the most unusual items seem to make it to another website: AliExpress.

AliExpress opened its virtual doors in 2010. Owned by the online mega-retailer Alibaba, the merchant is unlike its parent company. AliExpress comprises individual sellers hawking their wares, like an eBay or Etsy for buyers in desperate need of a Karl Marx bust or a urine collector. And those aren't even AliExpress's most outlandish items.

The strange finds on AliExpress follow no rhyme or reason and are often a mishmash of ideas turned into odd products nobody in their right mind likely wants. Along with the gag-gift potential, though, perhaps that's precisely why someone might want one of these unique items from AliExpress. After all, who else would own something so confounding and hilarious.

A Rectum-Check Simulator - $659.10
A Rectum-Check Simulator... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Weirdest Things You Can Buy On AliExpress
Photo:  AliExpress

Here's an idea for the medical or nursing student on your gift list (or anyone curious what being a proctologist is like): a rectum simulator. This advanced digital rectal check contraption supposedly offers a lifelike recreation of a rectal or prostate exam. You can even choose one of nine different types of (artificial) stool, to make the experience more… umm… interesting.

A Full-On Silicon Face Mask - $474.99
A Full-On Silicon Face M... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Weirdest Things You Can Buy On AliExpress
Photo:  AliExpress

Good heavens, if you're ever in the mood to scare the living sh*t out of someone, this silicone "human" mask is the way to go. You can purchase a male or female version, though both look equally terrifying. The female mask is $474.99, but, for some reason, the male mask is $200 more. Probably to make up for the pay gap.

A Crying Kim Kardashian Sweatshirt - $14.39
A Crying Kim Kardashian ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Weirdest Things You Can Buy On AliExpress
Photo:  AliExpress

Memorialize a classic celebrity meltdown with this sweatshirt featuring a repeated pattern of Kim Kardashian crying (krying?) hysterically. Made of a polyester and spandex combo (classy!), the positioning of the images provides a 3D effect - as if Kim is weeping at you from various angles.

A Minions Bikini - $7.77
A Minions Bikini - $7.77... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Weirdest Things You Can Buy On AliExpress
Photo:  AliExpress

The Minions seem to be everywhere these days, from action figures and bedding to thermoses and wallpaper. It should come as no surprise, then, that you can purchase a Minions bikini from AliExpress. And it's worth the $7.77 for the strategically placed eyes over the nipples and the smiling mouth over the crotch.