Any product ever produced - whether in the present or past - can more than likely be found for sale somewhere on the internet. When you're in search of weird gifts, Amazon is a treasure trove of the bizarre. But the most unusual items seem to make it to another website: AliExpress.
AliExpress opened its virtual doors in 2010. Owned by the online mega-retailer Alibaba, the merchant is unlike its parent company. AliExpress comprises individual sellers hawking their wares, like an eBay or Etsy for buyers in desperate need of a Karl Marx bust or a urine collector. And those aren't even AliExpress's most outlandish items.
The strange finds on AliExpress follow no rhyme or reason and are often a mishmash of ideas turned into odd products nobody in their right mind likely wants. Along with the gag-gift potential, though, perhaps that's precisely why someone might want one of these unique items from AliExpress. After all, who else would own something so confounding and hilarious.
A Rectum-Check Simulator - $659.10
Here's an idea for the medical or nursing student on your gift list (or anyone curious what being a proctologist is like): a rectum simulator. This advanced digital rectal check contraption supposedly offers a lifelike recreation of a rectal or prostate exam. You can even choose one of nine different types of (artificial) stool, to make the experience more… umm… interesting.
A Full-On Silicon Face Mask - $474.99
Good heavens, if you're ever in the mood to scare the living sh*t out of someone, this silicone "human" mask is the way to go. You can purchase a male or female version, though both look equally terrifying. The female mask is $474.99, but, for some reason, the male mask is $200 more. Probably to make up for the pay gap.
A Crying Kim Kardashian Sweatshirt - $14.39
Memorialize a classic celebrity meltdown with this sweatshirt featuring a repeated pattern of Kim Kardashian crying (krying?) hysterically. Made of a polyester and spandex combo (classy!), the positioning of the images provides a 3D effect - as if Kim is weeping at you from various angles.
A Minions Bikini - $7.77
The Minions seem to be everywhere these days, from action figures and bedding to thermoses and wallpaper. It should come as no surprise, then, that you can purchase a Minions bikini from AliExpress. And it's worth the $7.77 for the strategically placed eyes over the nipples and the smiling mouth over the crotch.