Updated September 23, 2021 14.7K votes 2.5K voters 265.6K views
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Vote up the strangest jobs you just can't believe the royal family needs.
What is a queen without her servants? The royal household currently employs an estimated 1,200 people. While many of these staff members hold typical jobs like food service or housekeeping, others serve Her Majesty in stranger ways, such as looking after the royal swans, winding up the clocks, or breaking in those infamous kitten heels. All the pomp and circumstance surrounding these jobs might make you forget what century we're in, and will definitely make you feel like pauper.
Well you didn’t expect the Queen to cut her own meat, did you? The royal household maintains the position of Grand Carver, which literally just designates someone to carve up the roast meat on special occasions. The role is currently held by the Earls of Denbigh and Desmond. Grand Carver is a hereditary position, because apparently the gift of evenly slicing poultry is a genetic one.
There’s also the separate position of Master Carver of Scotland, because clearly it's just that important.
Okay, so it might not be an official position, but one of the Queen’s wardrobe staffers is responsible for breaking in her heels. And for such a burdensome task, surely an honorary title is deserved. Stewart Parvin, the Queen's dress designer, explained that it’s only necessary for the Queen to have her shoes broken in so she won’t grow uncomfortable during her many events.
The woman is also 90 years old, so the world probably wouldn’t begrudge her the occasional ballet flat.
One thing the British Monarchy truly excels at is creating fancy, bullsh*t titles for mundane jobs. The Royal Horological Conservator is actually the Royal Clock Winder. If you haven’t noticed by now, the Queen isn’t generally one to favor modernity over tradition. So rather than using a digital clock, she hires someone to maintain and set over 1,000 clocks in Buckingham Palace and the other royal residences.
That constant tick-tocking plus the morning bagpipe performance is starting to make the palace sound like a downright noisy place to live.
Historically, this position was filled by one person and was titled Keeper of the Swans. But in 1993 it was decided that swan duty was simply not a one-man job, and thus the separate positions of Warden of the Swans and Marker of the Swans were created. These two are responsible for the annual “Swan-Upping Ceremony.”
Originally, this meant the swans on the River Thames were rounded up as a delicious banquet snack. But now the event is much more animal-friendly, and the Queen’s swans are simply gathered for a census and health check. Yes, another perk of being Queen of England is that you just automatically own all of the swans.
Back in 1675, King Charles II appointed the first Astronomer Royal, John Flamsteed, to map out “the motions of the heavens.” Sure, piece of cake. Today, with iPhone apps that can label the constellations, one might think the position of Astronomer Royal would fall by the wayside. Yet the prestigious role still exists and is currently held by Martin Rees.
Though largely a ceremonial figure, he is responsible for advising the sovereign on all astronomical matters as needed.
The Royal Philatelic Collection, AKA the Queen’s stamps, has been kept under the watchful eyes of Michael Sefi since 2003. While this job might sound so dull that it can't be real, Sefi travels internationally to acquire new stamps and arrange stamp exhibitions to display the Queen’s impressive collection.
Though the Queen inherited much of the collection from her grandfather, George V, and apparently doesn't give a f*ck about stamps, she does appreciate the need to preserve the collection. Sefi has been an avid stamp collector since his youth and headed up several philatelic societies before landing the job.
