Have you ever wondered what kings and queens got up to in their spare, sexy time in the bedroom? You know, when they weren't too busy with any of their other weird royal obsessions? Well, wonder no further - some of these monarchs had quite creepy kinks or other weird sexual habits in the privacy of their own homes.
While there are several reasons people develop a particular thing they like in the bedroom, one has to assume that some of these kings and queens were just straight-up bored. After all, if you have all the money and power in the world, what else is there to do for fun? Some of them, of course, probably just had stories made up about them. Still, from the emperors of ancient Rome who loved children a little too much to the necrophilacs of France, here are some of the strangest royal tastes in all of recorded history.
The second Roman emperor, Tiberius, was into some pretty awful stuff. He trained a bunch of little boys, his "fries," to "to swim between his thighs to nibble and lick him." He even snatched up "weaned healthy babies" and let them "suck his penis instead of their mother’s nipple, he being, by age and nature, fond of such perversions."
At his seaside villa in Capri, he hosted illicit parties to help keep his own libido up, according to Suetonius. Tiberius also collected scandalous writings and had sexy frescoes painted on his walls. Also, in the gardens, he made boys and girls dress up as Pan and wild nymphs and get it on. And that's not even counting all his depravities with adults...
Herod was a notorious figure in the ancient world, but his problems might have run even deeper than we realize. He wasn't actually born a Judean or a royal, but married into the Hasmonean/Maccabee dynasty that ruled the area; his wife was called Mariamne. A beautiful lady, Mariamne made Herod super-jealous of any guy she smiled at. So, thanks to some conspiring from his own family, Herod had her killed.
Horrifyingly, he couldn't let her go after her death. The Talmud claims that Herod kept her dead body and still made love to it for seven whole years. And that must have been a sticky situation, considering Mariamne's body was supposedly preserved in honey!
Prince Chien Of Han China Liked Drowning Little Kids
Like the infamous Caligula, the ancient Chinese prince Chien loved keeping it in the family: he slept with several of sisters. Allegedly, he also punished the women of his court he didn't like by making them stand outside naked, keeping time on a drum, all day long. Also, Chien drowned boys and girls in his palace lake, put ladies he didn't like naked in trees, or refused to allow them to eat. So, yeah, maybe your last Tinder date wasn't so bad after all.
The Roman emperor Caligula (his real name was Gaius; "Caligula" was a nickname, which meant "little boots") liked to get down and dirty with his family members. Ancient Roman rumor had it that this insane autocrat slept with each of his three sisters. However, contrary to popular opinion, he didn't rip his sibling's baby from her womb and eat it.
Caligula's favorite sister was Drusilla; their grandma caught them sleeping together (allegedly) as kids, and Caligula took Drusilla from her husband to live with him when they were adults. Grieving intensely after Drusilla's death, Caligula also pimped out his other sisters to his favorite subjects.