politics & history Strange Stories You Might Not Know About Colonial Americans  

Steve Silkin
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It's not too much of a stretch to assume we live in the strangest era ever. After all, we have Donald Trump and his antics captivating us every day. But there are plenty of strange stories about early Americans too. From sad tales of intolerance to clownish buffoons, this is not your typical history lesson about colonial America. 

This list examines what it was like to live in colonial America, from the weird political landscape to the difficulties of not fitting in the (very stringent) mold. You may not have heard these weird stories about colonial Americans before, but you won't soon forget them after reading this list.

This Nutball Made Millions When He Should Have Lost Every Dime


This Nutball Made Millions Whe... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Strange Stories You Might Not Know About Colonial Americans
Photo: James Akin/Public Domain/via Wikimedia Commons

Timothy Dexter was born into a family of poor farmers in Massachusetts in the mid-1700s. Dexter, though, refused to accept his family's station in life and set out to become wealthy and well-respected. He started out as a leather craftsman but made his fortune by using new dollars to purchase heaps of Continentals, the pre-independence currency of the 13 colonies, for a fraction of pennies on the dollar.

It was an insanely stupid bet that no one with any sense would have made, because Continentals had been discontinued and were no longer in use when he bought them. However, when America became independent,the government allowed Continentals to be traded in for 1% of their face value, which was way more than what Dexter paid for them. He made millions on a crazy irresponsible gamble. 

That allowed him to indulge his fantasies: he called himself a lord, pretended to be a philosopher, and commissioned 40 statues of himself that he placed around his estate. Meanwhile, his aristocratic neighbors gave him horrendous investment advice in an attempt to bankrupt him, but to no avail. He thought the wealthy elite would embrace him now that he had money, but they shunned him, as they still saw him as low-class.

He was once urged to sell coals to Newcastle, an endeavor he then undertook. When he brought the coal to the English city which was internationally known for its supply, the local miners were on strike, so he actually made money! He also staged his own spectacular funeral, attended by 3,000, so he could observe the occasion while still among the living.

To celebrate his achievements, he wrote a near-incomprehensible memoir (Dexter was barely literate) that featured absolutely no punctuation. He handed out copies to his rich neighbors, who were, of course, horrified.

Anne Hutchinson Was a Revolutionary and Feminist BAMF Who Split from the Puritan Church


Anne Hutchinson Was a Revoluti... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Strange Stories You Might Not Know About Colonial Americans
Photo: Edwin Austin Abbey/Public Domain/via Wikimedia Commons

Anne Hutchinson was a member of the Massachusetts Bay Colony in the mid-1600s but quickly found herself at odds with the Puritan authorities. She demanded freedom of thought and led women's discussions of the scripture that were contrary to the views of church leadership. This led the colony's governor, John Winthrop, to declare her "an American Jezebel." Puritans viewed women as inferior, and Hutchinson, a mother of 15, broke with her church because of it.  

She was arrested on accusations of dissident views on the spirit and the soul as well as prophesying the Colony's doom. She was convicted and banished from the Colony. She and her family left Massachusetts to follow the teachings of Roger Williams in Providence, RI. Then, fearing further repression, they moved out of reach of the English to the Dutch area of Eastchester, NY, where they started their own government that called for the separation of church and state as well as trial by jury. She was massacred by Native Americans in 1643.

Judah Monis Converted to Christianity to Teach Hebrew at Harvard


Judah Monis is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Strange Stories You Might Not Know About Colonial Americans
Photo: Public Domain/via Wikimedia Commons

Judah Monis was born into a family of Portuguese conversos in 1683. Conversos were Jewish people who practiced Christianity publicly during the Inquisition but remained Jews in private. This heritage makes his destiny all the more intriguing: he became the first Jew to receive a degree in the colonies and also the first to teach at Harvard, but he had to convert to Christianity in order to do it.

After studies in Europe, Monis set up a shop in New York where he taught Hebrew to both Jews and Christians and led theological discussions on the Jewish mystical teachings of Kabbalah. He moved to Massachusetts and got his master's at Harvard in 1720. As Biblical students were required to read the sacred texts in their original language, the college also needed a Hebrew professor, hence his appointment. However, Harvard required all professors to be practicing Christians. It was a prejudicial rule which put Monis in a quandary: convert to Christianity after he spent his whole life promoting the teachings of Judaism, or give up on his dream.

In the end, he converted, but not without controversy. The Jewish community felt betrayed and the Christians doubted his sincerity.

Samuel Brand Killed His Brother for Being Flippant


Samuel Brand Killed His Brothe... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Strange Stories You Might Not Know About Colonial Americans
Photo: Marjory Collins/Public Domain/via Wikimedia Commons

Samuel Brand lived near Lancaster, PA in 1773. His story is set in a religious area where non-violence was an unbreakable tenet.

On the fatal evening, he set fire to the family farmhouse while his elderly parents were asleep, then entered their flaming home and confronted his brother. Brand was holding a loaded gun. His brother simply stared at him stoically. 

"I'll shoot thee," Brand said to his brother, who replied:  

"Shoot if thou wilt." 

The account of that night states: "This simple but inconsiderate answer did but more to provoke his fury so that he fired off and the poor victim fell dead on the spot." Brand was quickly caught, tried, and hanged in December 1773. Why did he do it? According to Jay Robert Nash in Murder, America: Homicide in the United States from the Revolution to the Present, Brand was simply "never quite right in his head."