Avengers: Infinity War delivers a metric ton of Marvel characters, and the inevitable merger between Disney and Fox promises to dredge up even more of them. With so many new additions, it's hard to believe that there are still a litany of Marvel characters that will never get movies.
Some of the weirdest Marvel characters like Groot, Batroc the Leaper, and Howard the Duck have already graced the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but that still leaves a long list of lesser-known Marvel characters waiting for their chance at the big time.
There's no shortage of weird comic book characters out there, but Marvel Comics seems to have a special affinity for creating them. Perhaps it's because the modern generation of Marvel writers can't seem to stop referencing the company's bizarre history, grafting on cameos for characters like Hellcow and Doctor Bong, just for the fun of it.
Hellcow was once a prized dairy cow named Bessie, minding her own business in 17th century Switzerland. Then Dracula drained her blood and turned her into an undead heifer.
Hellcow is now immortal, but must live with an insatiable thirst for mammalian blood of all sorts. At one point, it seems like Hellcow has been killed by Howard the Duck, her primary rival, but she rises once again to go on adventures with Deadpool. Hellcow only hangs with the best of the best.
It should go without saying that a Hellcow appearance in the MCU would be an udder disaster.
There’s something very comic-booky about taking an ordinary word and turning it into a codename by spelling it wrong. Maggott’s real name, Japheth, is nearly as strange, and his mutant abilities are even stranger.
Maggott’s digestive system has been replaced by two sentient “maggots,” which can leave his body to seek out nourishment before returning to him. Not only is this power extremely gross, it also qualifies him for the list of “most useless powers of all time.” For the record, the maggots have names, and they’re Eany and Meany.
The Orb is exactly what he looks like: a guy with a giant eyeball for a head. Beyond that, there’s not much to this mercenary; he has no known real name and no superpowers beyond the obvious “enhanced sight.”
However, The Orb is a personal favorite character of writer Jason Aaron, so he tends to show up in whatever title Aaron happens to be writing. In a major crossover titled Original Sin, The Orb ended up in possession of one of The Watcher’s eyes, which he grafted to his chest. Now that he has two eyes, he’s got to be less creepy, right?
The Mandrill is a very problematic character. Born Jerome Beechman, The Mandrill is a mutant who grew up resembling the baboon-like mandrill. He also gained an incredibly creepy power: the ability to emit a pheromone that allows him to control women.
The Mandrill can use this ability to keep women under his thrall indefinitely, and he’s done all the horrid stuff you’re probably imagining right now. When someone is freed from his stinky influence, they undergo a period of severe withdrawal. This is a character best left in the past.