Teachers Describe The Weirdest Thing They've Ever Witnessed A Student Doing

From Redditor /u/dr239:

My weirdest had to be the kid who insisted he was a prophet. He wouldn’t do a lick of work because apparently, prophets don’t need to read and write and know basic math. His entire family also believed that he was a prophet, and fully supported him in his choice not to do any work. A decade later, I can still picture us sitting at parent-teacher conferences, with the family across the table arguing “He doesn't need to do math, 'cause he's a prophet! Prophets don't do math! Would you make Jesus do math?'

From Redditor/u/hmmmkay:

I once had a Kindergartner who had a lot of issues with pooping his pants. He would crap his pants and just go about his day as if nothing was out of the ordinary until the kids around him would get a whiff and say something. The kids were very nice about it and would usually come up and quietly whisper it rather than yell it out in front of the whole class. But I digress...

One time this kid was in the bathroom too long and I was starting to get worried. I knocked on the door several times and asked him to finish up and come out. Each time he would just yell out "No! I'm busy!" So finally I had to open the door and found him standing in the corner of the room facing the wall, holding his underwear up to his face and inhaling deeply. There was a huge turd in his underwear.

From Redditor/u/youhavelobsterhands:

One of my fourth graders started singing while she was doing her work. "One two Freddys coming for you..." she then looked up at me and said "He's gonna get ya Ms.Youhavelobsterhands" Later on I was fidgeting with something because YES SHE WAS FREAKING ME OUT. She says out of the blue "You nerrrvous?" Later on she goes "You better not be the last one in your car alone." Freaky, freaky child.

From Redditor/u/ooakey:

I teach at a large community college in California. I have seen many weird things...many, many weird things, but one incident has always stuck in my mind. Here it goes.

It was after class and the students were packing up their things. Half the class was already gone, but there were a few stragglers. One student was having trouble packing his back pack. He had so many papers and notebooks it just wouldn't all fit. There was another class starting to come in so he grabbed his stuff in his arms and headed for the door.

When he go to the door, it was closed. What to do? Ask the teacher for help? nope. Put your stuff down and open the door? nope. Wait for the door to open from the outside? nope.

This student, without skipping a beat mind you, knelt down on one knee, took the whole door knob in his mouth, twisted his head and with a seemingly painful amount of force swung the door open. Just picture that for a second...weird, right?

As the door was open he got up and sprinted out before it closed behind him. The doorknob with still glistening with his saliva.

Yeah.

From Redditor /u/_Old_Man_Jenkins:

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Sure, go ahead"

(Proceeds to p*ss in the trashcan in the corner of the room, then returns to his seat).

I knew I was going to write him up, but the question was HOW to write this up. Ended on "Disrespect and creating a biohazard."

From Redditor/u/NipponNiGajin:

I had a kid walk into a class to take a math test, fall asleep on his desk with his head pillowed on his arms, drool all over the table in his sleep, I'm talking a full on puddle here, wake up to realize what he's done and then spend the rest of the class trying to suck the drool back up as subtly as he could. Yes he did suck it all back up. Yes he totally thought he got away with it.