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What to Expect When You're Expecting Movie Quotes

Updated March 29, 2019 566 votes 197 voters 75.0k views9 items

'What to Expect When You're Expecting' movie quotes are hilarious. They include the very best lines from this 2012 romantic comedy based on the wildly popular pregnancy book of the same name. 'What to Expect' features an all-star cast, including Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Matthew Morrison, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Chace Crawford, Rodrigo Santoro and Dennis Quaid. See a favorite quote from 'What To Expect When You're Expecting'? Vote it up! And, if your personal favorite lines from the movie aren't listed, add them.

'What to Expect When You're Expecting' follows the journeys of five couples who are each dealing with impending parenthood. Several of the couples are pregnant, and one is in the process of adopting. Each couple deals with their own issues surrounding pregnancy. When one of the future fathers, Alex, decides he needs a little more info about the job, he joins up with the Dudes Group: a group of dads (Chris Rock, Thomas Lennon, Ben Falcone, Rob Huebel and Amir Talai) who've formed a special alliance. 'What to Expect' is directed by Kirk Jones ('Waking Ned Devine,' 'Nanny McPhee').

If you're looking for more excellent movie quotes, check out these pages for the most memorable lines from 'The Five-Year Engagement,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'LOL,' 'American Reunion,' 'This Means War,' 'The Lucky One,' 'The Vow,' 'Wanderlust,' 'The Hunger Games,' 'Friends With Benefits,' 'New Year's Eve,' 'Crazy, Stupid, Love' and 'Bridesmaids.'
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  • 5

    Welcome to Escrow

    Video: YouTube


    Alex: "I look at houses with Holly, but we're not buying one."
    Vic: "Bro, bro, when your wife says you're just looking at houses, you're buying a house.
    Alex: "No I'm not."
    Vic: "Oh yes you are."
    Alex: "I'm not buying a house."
    Vic: "Oh, check your receipts."
    Gabe: "Welcome to escrow, b*tch!"

    Alex's decision to hang out with the Dudes Group proves to be a very educational experience. He and Holly are trying to adopt, but they aren't buying a new house -- yeah, right. Vic is correct -- Alex is totally getting a house.
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  • 6

    Gorgeous Rack

    Photo: flickr / CC0


    Jules: "If I knew I'd have a rack like this gorgeous, I would've gotten knocked up years ago."

    Julex Baxter is a TV star who decides to go on a celebrity dance show. She and her partner on the show, Evan (Matthew Morrison), get pregnant. Jules is worried that the baby will ruin her career, though she finds great joy in one of the (often wonderful) pregnancy signs: much fuller breasts.
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  • 7

    Pregnancy Unicorn

    Photo: flickr / CC0


    Wendy (looks at gorgeous pregnant woman): "Look at her, she's wearing six-inch heels..."
    Janice: "She's like a magical pregnancy unicorn."

    Oh, Mythical Pregnancy Unicorn, why must you torture normal pregnant women everywhere? There's always one: that incredible pregnant woman who manages to gain very little weight and look positively stunning (the 'glow') for nine months. Skyler (Brooklyn Decker) is such a creature. She'll sneeze during labor and push that little baby right out without any issues whatsoever, and then she'll immediately strap on her Louboutins and go about her merry way.
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  • 8

    Stuff Just Happens, Okay?

    Video: YouTube


    Alex: "You dropped your kid off a changing table?!"
    Gabe: "Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette."
    Craig: "I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday."
    Patel: "I picked up the wrong baby from daycare."
    Gabe: "I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging."

    Welcome to the Dudes Group, Alex. First rule: No judging. These guys are serious about this rule, too. They take pride in their child care skills as fathers, but they make mistakes. Those mistakes? They stay in Dudes Group. Forever.
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