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true stories When Boobs Attack! 7 Stories of Deadly Breasts  

Rachel Stewart
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From an Israeli model who got bit by a snake and killed it with the poison in her fake bitches to a guy who tried to kill his mom to buy breast implants for his girlfriend, here are the craziest times that a pair of bitches has ever been deadly leading to tragedy, near-death experiences or murder.
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Woman's 40 LL Breasts Nearly Kill Boyfriend

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This is one of the best stories of all time.

Claire Smedley, 27, has 40LL breasts. Yes, those exist.

Something that her husband clearly likes is enormous, monstrous breasts. She gladly obliges whenever they get down and awesome by smother him with them, which, according to Smedley (mother of three) he loved.

"Steven was usually crazy about being smothered with them. This time, he started flailing around a little bit, but I assumed it was because he was so excited, so I kept going..."

She nearly murdered her boyfriend during sex with her 40 LL bitches.

After Steven, the smothered man, passed out and stopped breathing, he miraculously recovered from the incident, although their relationship did not.

Steven now refers to Smedley's boobs as the "rack of doom." They are the second largest pair in Britain and, unlike they would in America, they don't sell tickets to see them.

38KKK Bust Nearly Kills Model

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Note: yes, that main list image you see up there is an actual, real picture of this woman. Feel free to click on it for a larger view.

Sheyla Hershey, a Brazilian model, recently underwent plastic surgery to enlarge her already humongous 38KKK breasts (the most racist of breast sizes) to an "M" (for Mature) and suffered complications that nearly killed her.

The model was bed-ridden and struggling to breathe, suffering from a severe staph infection from her previous surgery. Doctors were nearly forced to remove Hershey's natural breasts along with her implants following the complications, which probably would have been a lot like knocking over a years-long sand castle (she worked for years to gradually get her breast sizes up, as it was her dream to have the world's largest bitches.)

Hershey's breasts each contain about a gallon of silicone implant fluid. Literal milk jugs she's carrying around. Literal milk jugs. Handling those would be much like taking heavy bags of groceries up a flight of stairs with no breaks in between.

No word yet on whether the model has recovered from her botched boob job, but her breasts have been acknowledged as the largest in the world by the Brazilian equivalent of the Guinness Book of World Records which, you know, sounds legit.

This Jerk's Hilarious Manboobs Made Him Kill People

Sidney Cornwell is a crip. He's also a killer. A really lucky killer. He and his other crip buddies (that's what they call each other, right?) were hunting for a member of a rival gang (who nobody on earth knows the name of) when the booberific Cornwell opened fire on a porch full of people who might know the person they were looking for. Might.

Tragically, he accidentally killed a three-year-old in the process. And it's not like that previous entry where the whole accidental part is going to get this guy off a sentence, he accidentally killed someone for f*cking shooting into a crowd.

So where do the boobs come in?

Well, this guy apparently had a case of Klinefelter's Syndrome, which basically gives people "b*tch t*ts" like that guy in Fight Club due to an extra X chromosome in their DNA (that's the girly one.) The judge didn't know about Milkjugs McPokeyShirt's condition at the time, so the Governor pardoned his death sentence to just life in prison with no chance of parole.

He was apparently able to blame the entire incident on psychological issues from his Klinefelter's Syndrome from being bullied way too much as a child due to his round, supple and perky breasts.

At least this jerk is serving a life sentence. Hopefully they make him run a lot.