Culture

Which Fictional Goth Guy Are You Based On Your Zodiac?  

Megan Summers
1k views 12 items

Astrology and goth culture are two peas in a dark pod - so why not develop a hypothetical list matching the most well-known goth guys from film and TV with each of the astrological signs? The zodiac is broken up into 12 distinct signs, each one defined by unique traits caused by astrological alignments on one's date of birth. From fiery Aries to watery Pisces, people under each sign possess specific strengths and weaknesses, characteristics, and desires. 

The macabre and black-clad characters on this list all exist on different parts of the goth subculture spectrum. Moody, misunderstood, and ostracized, these guys represent peoples' darkest thoughts and feelings made flesh. Well, fictional flesh.

Eric Draven is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Which Fictional Goth Guy Are You Based On Your Zodiac?
Photo: Lionsgate

Fierce, demanding, and physical, Aries is a cardinal Fire sign. Eric Draven is fierce, demanding, and physical as the undead metalhead set on seeking vengeance against the crew who slayed him and his fiancée. Brought back to life by a crow a year after his passing, Eric possesses extreme strength and dexterity as he pursues his enemies. Like a ram, the Aries symbol, he navigates obstacles head-first.

With the stamina of a typical Aries - which is ruled by the planet Mars, named after the god of war - Eric moves around like someone on a battlefield. He demonstrates passion and courage while somehow maintaining perfect black wavy hair and immaculate gothic make-up.

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Sweeney Todd is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Which Fictional Goth Guy Are You Based On Your Zodiac?
Photo: Paramount Pictures

With the tenacity of a bull - the Taurus symbol - leather-clad and pinstriped Sweeney Todd uses his Victorian barber shop as a front to supply Mrs. Lovett with the human flesh she needs for her infamous meat pies. A fixed Earth sign ruled by Venus - the planet of love - Tauruses are motivated by romance, consistency, and pragmatism.

When Todd's world is turned upside down after being banished by Judge Turpin - who is obsessed with Todd's wife - his grounded Taurean energy mutates into an avaricious, stubborn quest for blood and revenge, one slashed neck at a time. Without his love Lucy, Todd has no solid connection to the world, eventually losing control and letting the cadavers pile up.

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Jack Skellington is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Which Fictional Goth Guy Are You Based On Your Zodiac?
Photo: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

The Pumpkin King is the quintessential Gemini: playful, curious, and intellectual. As a mutable Air sign, Geminis easily adjust to unfamiliar circumstances and constantly seek out new experiences for fear of being bored. Ruled by Mercury, Geminis thrive on communicating and socializing.

Jack Skellington, Halloween Town's skeletal suited gentleman, is tired of scaring and spooking people, so he sets his sights on becoming the new Santa Claus, leaving Halloween Town a tangled mess in the process. Like all Geminis - symbolized by the Twins - Jack has two sides he must constantly grapple with - the whimsical side and the serious side. As the ragdoll Sally enters his life, he must also struggle with choosing love or independence.

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Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Orin From 'Parks and Recreation'
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Or... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Which Fictional Goth Guy Are You Based On Your Zodiac?
Photo: NBC

Cancers are cardinal Water signs regulated by their emotions. Their hypersensitivity and shy moodiness cause them to pick up on the slightest shifts in atmosphere or tone. April Ludgate's creepy friend Orin is always hidden in the shadows when he appears on Parks and Rec. With his black nail polish, floor-length cloak, and intense stare, he needs no dialogue to make his presence known. Ruled by the Moon, Cancer attitudes ebb and flow with the tides. Symbolized by the Crab, those under this sign scuttle around, waiting to psychologically pinch their foes - real or imagined.

When Orin and Ben Wyatt meet at a party hosted by April and her boyfriend Andy, we miss Orin's contribution to the conversation, only hearing Ben uncomfortably assert, "No, Orin. I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"

Classic Cancer vibes, Orin.