Culture The Whitest Mayo Baby Names You Could Give Your Child  

Jacob Shelton
741.2k votes 49k voters 843.9k views 141 items

List Rules Upvote the babies who will grow up and ask to speak to your manager.

What’s up with white people and their super douchey names? When you give a child a white-sounding name, be it Tanner or Fiona, it’s almost like you’re giving them license to walk around acting like James Spader in Pretty in Pink. Guess what? No one likes that guy!

When you hear some white boy names you wonder if the kid’s parents were trying to will him into being the captain of a lacrosse team by calling him Carter, or if they really just enjoy the way such a sharp name falls out of their mouths. The one advantage white girl names hold over white boy names is they don’t immediately inspire fear in everyone who hears them, although names like Maisie and Audrey do put the child in a state of suspended animation for the rest of their lives. But who cares as long as the names are cute? And very, very white.

Vote on the whitest baby name ever, and if you see your name on here, don’t get upset; just don’t give your baby a super white name. 

list ordered by

1
11,352 6,019
Stephanie Barrans added Paisley

2
12,544 6,821
Hunter

3
2,962 1,534
Michelle Sablan added Brody

4
10,048 5,491
Shaylee Kay Farnam added Peyton

5
2,139 1,091
whatsthisitch added Colton

6
11,513 6,330
Rezin Nichole Secrest added Brayden

7
3,736 2,032
Jessica Miller added McKenzie

8
11,319 6,487
Tanner

9
12,576 7,326
McKenly

10
1,384 724
JeffSebasovich added Raegan

11
927 471
BHinz added Parker

12
3,647 2,204
Jessica Miller added Easton

13
1,779 1,035
hannahdalaba19 added

14
1,984 1,167
Michelle Sablan added Brad

15
2,888 1,780
Jessica Miller added Weston

16
2,258 1,428
22bekgruber added Lakynn

17
1,791 1,115
22bekgruber added McKinli

18
9,587 6,434
Chase

19
6,863 4,615
Shaylee Kay Farnam added Mason

20
9,105 6,245
Aiden

21
1,298 820
Shey Austin added Becky

22
9,033 6,321
Maisie

23
1,096 692
SavannahBoggs added Jake

24
8,383 5,989
Logan

25
7,981 5,733
Carter