Culture The Whitest Mayo Baby Names You Could Give Your Child  

Jacob Shelton
738.3k votes 48.8k voters 841.3k views 141 items

List Rules Upvote the babies who will grow up and ask to speak to your manager.

What’s up with white people and their super douchey names? When you give a child a white-sounding name, be it Tanner or Fiona, it’s almost like you’re giving them license to walk around acting like James Spader in Pretty in Pink. Guess what? No one likes that guy!

When you hear some white boy names you wonder if the kid’s parents were trying to will him into being the captain of a lacrosse team by calling him Carter, or if they really just enjoy the way such a sharp name falls out of their mouths. The one advantage white girl names hold over white boy names is they don’t immediately inspire fear in everyone who hears them, although names like Maisie and Audrey do put the child in a state of suspended animation for the rest of their lives. But who cares as long as the names are cute? And very, very white.

Vote on the whitest baby name ever, and if you see your name on here, don’t get upset; just don’t give your baby a super white name. 

list ordered by

1
11,292 5,990
Stephanie Barrans added Paisley

2
12,489 6,802
Hunter

3
2,908 1,513
Michelle Sablan added Brody

4
10,001 5,470
Shaylee Kay Farnam added Peyton

5
11,464 6,321
Rezin Nichole Secrest added Brayden

6
2,096 1,078
whatsthisitch added Colton

7
3,691 2,014
Jessica Miller added McKenzie

8
11,282 6,470
Tanner

9
12,542 7,311
McKenly

10
1,348 712
JeffSebasovich added Raegan

11
894 459
BHinz added Parker

12
3,613 2,189
Jessica Miller added Easton

13
1,745 1,018
hannahdalaba19 added

14
1,952 1,154
Michelle Sablan added Brad

15
2,861 1,769
Jessica Miller added Weston

16
2,220 1,412
22bekgruber added Lakynn

17
1,759 1,102
22bekgruber added McKinli

18
9,554 6,427
Chase

19
6,841 4,604
Shaylee Kay Farnam added Mason

20
9,082 6,233
Aiden

21
1,271 809
Shey Austin added Becky

22
9,009 6,312
Maisie

23
1,074 681
SavannahBoggs added Jake

24
8,359 5,981
Logan

25
7,956 5,726
Carter