Culture

The Whitest Mayo Baby Names You Could Give Your Child  

Jacob Shelton
804.3k votes 54.4k voters 941.6k views 134 items

List Rules Upvote the babies who will grow up and ask to speak to your manager.

What’s up with white people and their super douchey names? When you give a child a white-sounding name, be it Tanner or Fiona, it’s almost like you’re giving them license to walk around acting like James Spader in Pretty in Pink. Guess what? No one likes that guy!

When you hear some white boy names you wonder if the kid’s parents were trying to will him into being the captain of a lacrosse team by calling him Carter, or if they really just enjoy the way such a sharp name falls out of their mouths. The one advantage white girl names hold over white boy names is they don’t immediately inspire fear in everyone who hears them, although names like Maisie and Audrey do put the child in a state of suspended animation for the rest of their lives. But who cares as long as the names are cute? And very, very white.

Vote on the whitest baby name ever, and if you see your name on here, don’t get upset; just don’t give your baby a super white name. 

list ordered by
1
Stephanie Barrans added Paisley
2
Hunter
3
Michelle Sablan added Brody
4
Jessica Miller added McKenzie
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whatsthisitch added Colton
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Shaylee Kay Farnam added Peyton
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Rezin Nichole Secrest added Brayden
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JeffSebasovich added Raegan
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Michelle Sablan added Brad
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McKenly
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hannahdalaba19 added Liam
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Shey Austin added
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Jessica Miller added Easton
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aiden.tracey added
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22bekgruber added McKinli
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Jessica Miller added Weston
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SavannahBoggs added Jake
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22bekgruber added Lakynn
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KarenNestor added Kayley
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Chase
22
BHinz added Brooklyn
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Shaylee Kay Farnam added Mason
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BHinz added Austin
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Aiden