Culture
59.8k voters

The Whitest Mayo Baby Names You Could Give Your Child

Updated November 11, 2019 817.6k votes 59.8k voters 1.0m views119 items

List RulesUpvote the babies who will grow up and ask to speak to your manager.

What’s up with white people and their super douchey names? When you give a child a white-sounding name, be it Tanner or Fiona, it’s almost like you’re giving them license to walk around acting like James Spader in Pretty in Pink. Guess what? No one likes that guy!

When you hear some white boy names you wonder if the kid’s parents were trying to will him into being the captain of a lacrosse team by calling him Carter, or if they really just enjoy the way such a sharp name falls out of their mouths. The one advantage white girl names hold over white boy names is they don’t immediately inspire fear in everyone who hears them, although names like Maisie and Audrey do put the child in a state of suspended animation for the rest of their lives. But who cares as long as the names are cute? And very, very white.

Vote on the whitest baby name ever, and if you see your name on here, don’t get upset; just don’t give your baby a super white name. 

  • 1
    15,335
    7,691

    Hunter

  • 2
    6,840
    3,399

    McKenzie

  • 3
    12,325
    6,199

    Peyton

  • 4
    6,279
    3,142

    Brody

  • 5
    5,251
    2,638

    Colton

  • 6
    13,506
    6,893

    Brayden

  • 7
    4,713
    2,385

    Brad

  • 8
    13,973
    7,181

    Paisley

  • 9
    2,238
    1,119
  • 10
    13,138
    6,879
  • 11
    3,838
    2,071

    Raegan

  • 12
    1,790
    941

    Kayley

  • 13
    4,087
    2,286

    Liam

  • 14
    13,681
    7,801

    McKenly

  • 15
    3,533
    1,980
  • 16
    5,596
    3,210

    Easton

  • 17
    834
    440

    Parker

  • 18
    4,589
    2,734

    Weston

  • 19
    3,947
    2,344

    McKinli

  • 20
    4,620
    2,819

    Lakynn

  • 21
    10,641
    6,565

    Chase

  • 22
    8,081
    4,997

    Mason

  • 23
    2,080
    1,252

    Austin

  • 24
    2,791
    1,725

    Jake

  • 25
    2,051
    1,270

    Brooklyn