Culture The Whitest Mayo Baby Names You Could Give Your Child  

Jacob Shelton
739.7k votes 48.8k voters 842k views 141 items

List Rules Upvote the babies who will grow up and ask to speak to your manager.

What’s up with white people and their super douchey names? When you give a child a white-sounding name, be it Tanner or Fiona, it’s almost like you’re giving them license to walk around acting like James Spader in Pretty in Pink. Guess what? No one likes that guy!

When you hear some white boy names you wonder if the kid’s parents were trying to will him into being the captain of a lacrosse team by calling him Carter, or if they really just enjoy the way such a sharp name falls out of their mouths. The one advantage white girl names hold over white boy names is they don’t immediately inspire fear in everyone who hears them, although names like Maisie and Audrey do put the child in a state of suspended animation for the rest of their lives. But who cares as long as the names are cute? And very, very white.

Vote on the whitest baby name ever, and if you see your name on here, don’t get upset; just don’t give your baby a super white name. 

list ordered by

1
11,311 5,995
Stephanie Barrans added Paisley

2
12,507 6,809
Hunter

3
2,927 1,519
Michelle Sablan added Brody

4
10,017 5,478
Shaylee Kay Farnam added Peyton

5
11,483 6,326
Rezin Nichole Secrest added Brayden

6
2,111 1,084
whatsthisitch added Colton

7
3,705 2,021
Jessica Miller added McKenzie

8
11,296 6,476
Tanner

9
12,555 7,318
McKenly

10
1,361 718
JeffSebasovich added Raegan

11
908 464
BHinz added Parker

12
3,627 2,195
Jessica Miller added Easton

13
1,759 1,025
hannahdalaba19 added

14
1,965 1,160
Michelle Sablan added Brad

15
2,873 1,774
Jessica Miller added Weston

16
2,235 1,421
22bekgruber added Lakynn

17
1,769 1,110
22bekgruber added McKinli

18
9,567 6,431
Chase

19
6,850 4,608
Shaylee Kay Farnam added Mason

20
9,090 6,239
Aiden

21
1,282 812
Shey Austin added Becky

22
9,017 6,317
Maisie

23
1,081 686
SavannahBoggs added Jake

24
8,367 5,987
Logan

25
7,963 5,732
Carter