Culture
60.8k voters

The Whitest Mayo Baby Names You Could Give Your Child

Updated November 11, 2019 784.2k votes 60.8k voters 1.1m views119 items

List RulesUpvote the babies who will grow up and ask to speak to your manager.

What’s up with white people and their super douchey names? When you give a child a white-sounding name, be it Tanner or Fiona, it’s almost like you’re giving them license to walk around acting like James Spader in Pretty in Pink. Guess what? No one likes that guy!

When you hear some white boy names you wonder if the kid’s parents were trying to will him into being the captain of a lacrosse team by calling him Carter, or if they really just enjoy the way such a sharp name falls out of their mouths. The one advantage white girl names hold over white boy names is they don’t immediately inspire fear in everyone who hears them, although names like Maisie and Audrey do put the child in a state of suspended animation for the rest of their lives. But who cares as long as the names are cute? And very, very white.

Vote on the whitest baby name ever, and if you see your name on here, don’t get upset; just don’t give your baby a super white name. 

  • 1
    14,878
    7,400

    Hunter

  • 2
    2,416
    1,158
  • 3
    4,808
    2,370

    Brad

  • 4
    6,256
    3,106

    Brody

  • 5
    6,853
    3,415

    McKenzie

  • 6
    12,062
    6,059

    Peyton

  • 7
    5,283
    2,624

    Colton

  • 8
    13,026
    6,624

    Brayden

  • 9
    13,610
    6,987

    Paisley

  • 10
    12,575
    6,520
  • 11
    1,849
    971

    Kayley

  • 12
    3,820
    2,075

    Raegan

  • 13
    4,081
    2,250

    Liam

  • 14
    934
    475

    Parker

  • 15
    12,983
    7,408

    McKenly

  • 16
    3,506
    1,962
  • 17
    5,499
    3,139

    Easton

  • 18
    4,522
    2,668

    Weston

  • 19
    3,863
    2,290

    McKinli

  • 20
    10,120
    6,219

    Chase

  • 21
    2,100
    1,251

    Austin

  • 22
    2,788
    1,680

    Jake

  • 23
    7,847
    4,842

    Mason

  • 24
    4,497
    2,754

    Lakynn

  • 25
    1,472
    890

    Kinsie