VOTE 19 Tell-Tale Signs That Your Uber Driver Absolutely Hates You  

Brian Gilmore
598 votes 121 voters 4.9k views 19 items

List Rules Upvote everything that's most likely turned your Uber driver against you.

It really doesn't matter how nice you are, how good you smell, how well you tip (if you even carry around cash), or even how seamlessly your transaction goes; at some point you've had an Uber driver that has absolutely hated your guts. Hey, you're probably not an Uber driver, you don't know their day, and they probably weren't wrong to hate you.

It may start with a tiny mistake as simple as not noticing that the pin dropped on the opposite end of the street, having to hit the "message" button, and telling someone who most likely only speaks partial English (or is reading your text while actively driving) to do something that is most likely inconvenient. Unless you're at the beginning of a romantic comedy, where you're both of perfect compatibility and one of you acts adorably clumsy, starting out with a f*ck up is a horrible way to start any kind of relationship. Thought it may be a temporary one, it's a relationship with money involved. Listen, you're not going to make friends with your Uber driver. You're going to be like airplane acquaintances, only they also have to drive the plane while listening to how you're new to the city and just sold your car because it's "actually cheaper" to take Uber (it is, by the way, if you do it right). 

So try and avoid doing any of this to a fellow human being who is just trying to do their job, probably has at least a few other jobs, and is driving you somewhere while you fart around pretending to be Bruce Wayne in your head when really you're either just too drunk or don't have a car. Not owning a car doesn't make you Batman, so be nice to your Uber drivers.

list ordered by

29 10
You're Carrying A Bag Of Food That Will Putrefy Their Car

26 8
You Get Their Car-Seat Wet And It's Not Raining

38 20
You Smell Like The Cigarette You Just Smoked

23 8
They Literally Don't Say A Word To You Except Your Name The Entire Ride

25 11
They Slightly Turn Up The Music Once You Get Inside

27 13
They Park Like 10 yards Away From Where You’re Standing And Don’t Bother to Drive Forward

22 10
Silence + Turn Signal + Long, Drawn-Out Sigh

17 9
They Park 10 Yards Away From You And Make No Attempt To Come Any Closer

21 13
You Are Still Wearing Headphones After Repeated Attempts To Speak To You

18 11
They Don't Answer Your Question "How Was Your Day?"

26 19
When They Show Up And You're On The Other Side Of The Street

16 11
They Take A Phone-Call Without Bothering To Ask If You Care

11 7
They Answer Questions With A Single Syllable

16 13
When They Drop You Off And Start Driving Away Before You've Completely Closed The Door

15 13
You Notice The Front Passenger Seat Is Scooted All-The-Way Up

14 12
Their Car Smells Like Cigarettes, Meaning You're In The Way Of Their Next One

12 12
They Don't Speak, But Make A Ton Of Eye-Contact

11 11
If You Fart At All (They Know)

9 11
Their Car Smells Like A Bag Of Jack In The Box Came To Life And Passed Gas, And They Can Tell You Care