15 Reasons There Will Never Be A Good Superman Movie

For decades, Jimmy Olsen was known as Superman's best friend. Together, they had tons of misadventures that led to more than a few awkward comic book covers. But when it comes to the films... Jimmy is nowhere to be seen. Sometimes he's in the background of the Daily Planet, but he never has anything to contribute to the story.

He's one of the most humanizing elements of Superman's mythos, but he pretty much only exists in the movies to be rescued and/or made fun of. The problem is so bad that Zack Snyder killed him in the opening moments of Batman v Superman because he couldn't figure out how to use him in the films. He didn't even bother to mention his name in the script. 

It's something of a cliché that male superheroes are always rescuing their non-powered girlfriends. Unfortunately, Superman is no exception. In a vast majority of the Superman films, the third act has involved Lois in peril with Superman as her only hope of survival. It's always boring, and at this point it feels vaguely archaic.  

It actually makes Superman Returns, despite all its flaws, look pretty original. Lois and her family are actually the ones who save Superman at the end, which allows him in turn to save the world. Still, it's hard to craft a story and make it interesting when the audience inevitably knows how it's going to end.  

Superman has some of the most diverse powers of any superhero. Basically, he's that garbage kid on the playground who claimed his superpower is "all the powers." In fact, the films have even made up additional strange abilities for the Man of Steel when they thought it would be cool (planet-reversing time travel, for instance).

But overall, most of the movies that depict Superman really don't find situations where he can use his powers in new and interesting ways. Sure the strength, flying, and laser eyes get a ton of the attention... but when's the last time he used his freezing breath? How often do you see him using his super-speed to vibrate through solid objects, or his super intelligence to manipulate his way out of a tricky situation? It's like the writers have an endlessly massive tool box but refuse to use anything except the hammer.  

Perhaps the most massive problem that comes from Superman's overwhelming power is his inability to have a fair fight. Pretty much anyone who isn't a deity doesn't stand a chance against the Man of Steel. Thus, Kryptonite was invented. The irradiated chunks of his home planet are the only way to keep Superman in check (short of a red star). The problem is that it keeps showing up over and over again Superman stories.

It's become a crutch for lazy writers to humanize an inherently inhuman character. And here's the thing: when you take away Superman's powers, you're no longer telling a Superman story. Now you're just talking about some dude named Clark, and no one signed up for that when they went to go see a movie about a space god.  

Every superhero has their true love. Spider-Man has Mary Jane, Batman has Selina Kyle (or Talia al Ghul, if you're nasty), and Superman has Lois Lane. The thing is, filmmakers realize that you can't tell the same stories over and over again... which is why we've seen many movies where Peter and Bruce romance other characters from the source material (or new ones fabricated whole cloth).

However, outside a brief flirtation with Lana Lang in Superman III, Superman seems locked into the same romance in every film. While he does have other romantic interests in the comics (the aforementioned Lana, or Wonder Woman, for example) Superman always comes back to Lois Lane, and their love story is often boring. It's been the same "normal woman loves impossibly powerful alien but they don't have many problems" tale for decades, and it doesn't translate well to film.      

Because Superman is such a larger than life character, his stories tend to match that scale. It's very difficult to make an intimate Superman film despite the fact his greatest vulnerability comes from his relationships with others.

That means that the climax of modern Superman films usually involves trying to save a city or the world. The irony is that the easiest way to connect the audience to Superman would simply tap into his desperation over saving a friend... which is why Superman: The Movie worked so well.