nostalgia Space Jam Is The Craziest Kids Movie Ever Made And We Should Be Grateful For It  

Zack Howe
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Space Jam is the best movie ever, right? Weeeeellll, it's actually kinda not. But history certainly remembers it that way! In reality, a closer look at Space Jam shows that it is clearly a fever dream from someone who was mentally unwell. First of all, it's only 88 minutes from start to finish - that includes almost 20 minutes of credits. Can movies even be that short? Then, there's the cast, which is comprised largely of people who had never acted before and haven't since, and yet somehow also includes one of America's most beloved actors, Bill Murray

And let's not forget that there is a ridiculous amount of sex jokes in Space Jam, which is supposed to be a kids movie, and the producers signed off of it like they were signing a permission slip for their kids' field trip. By no means is this a list to outline by Space Jam was a terrible movie. It's a freaking brilliant film and fans are eternally grateful it exists. Yet there were so many looney things about Space Jam, that it's a miracle it got approved! Read on below to discover the insane things about Space Jam that somehow were given the green light to proceed with filming. 

There Are Impotence Jokes


There Are Impotence Jokes is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Space Jam Is The Craziest Kids Movie Ever Made And We Should Be Grateful For It
Photo:  Warner Bros.

Patrick Ewing lies on a couch in a therapist's office after he's had his talent stolen by aliens, wondering what he is without his basketball skills. The therapist asks, "Are there other areas besides basketball that you find yourself unable to perform?" Ewing defiantly responds, "No!" The best part is that Basketball Jones is the underlying audio, and at that moment, Barry White says, "Yeah. Yeah, yeah." It's a pretty frickin' hilarious scene about impotence. And it's in a children's movie. 

And There Are Erectile Jokes, Too


And There Are Erectile Jokes, ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Space Jam Is The Craziest Kids Movie Ever Made And We Should Be Grateful For It
Photo:  Warner Bros.

In case you're worried that they fail to represent the other side of the coin, fear not! When Lola Bunny appears, Bugs is super impressed by her basketball skills. Like super duper impressed. Ragingly, rock-hard impressed. She touches his cheek as she walks off the court and his entire body goes stiff. It's a subtle metaphor, but it's there if you're particularly intuitive. 

That Hyper-Sexualized Cartoon Rabbit


That Hyper-Sexualized Cartoon ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Space Jam Is The Craziest Kids Movie Ever Made And We Should Be Grateful For It
Photo:  Warner Bros.

Lola is a sultry, promiscuous baller who just exudes sex. She's also a cartoon rabbit. The most remarkable of her many wanton moments is when she bends over to pick up a basketball and looks back at her spectators. It's a scene straight out of porn. In fact, when they shot the inevitable porn parody, they didn't even have to change the script. To be fair, sexual references have always existed in Looney Tunes, so Space Jam didn't blaze the trail in this regard. But... That doesn't really make it any more acceptable, right? 

No One Seems To Notice That The Scoreboard Is Whack


No One Seems To Notice That Th... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Space Jam Is The Craziest Kids Movie Ever Made And We Should Be Grateful For It
Photo:  Warner Bros.

The Tune Squad gets their furry tails handed to them in the first half of the winner-takes-all game against the Monstars. The scoreboard starts to spin out of control as the Monstars keep racking up points, flying past 70 and then reading, "Kinda one-sided, isn't it?" That's pretty funny. But then when the teams come out for the second half, the Monstars are up 66-20. Was there some point shaving going on there?

Then, in the closing seconds of the game, when Jordan's manager flies around in a smelly fashion before collasping, the scoreboard reads 77-67. They've got only a few seconds left! But when the team huddles up immediately after, Jordan says, "We need to score two points to win." Suddenly, somehow, they've earned nine points during their huddle and are only down by one. Well, that makes things easier.