Total Nerd Wolverine Really Isn't As Cool As You Think He Is  

Jacob Shelton
2k votes 274 voters 9k views 17 items

List Rules Vote up the points you agree with and vote down the points you disagree with.

Wolverine has been a comic book fan darling since he appeared in Incredible Hulk #181 about a thousand years ago, but it’s time to face the facts: Wolverine sucks. He’s not the worst comic book character in history or anything as hyperbolic as that (that would be Deadpool), but he’s definitely not great.

Logan shouldn’t even be in consideration for your long list of favorite comic book characters, and if he is then you need to read more comic books. While it may have been fun to see Wolverine murder everyone he came across throughout the '90s and early 2000s, the bloom is off the rose and it’s time to remove the scales from your eyes and see that Mssr. Wolverine just isn’t very cool.

There’s nothing wrong with liking Wolverine, the X-Men mascot and ultra hairy tough guy, but if you live in reality then you’re aware that he’s just straight-up not cool. He’s barely even a good character. His brand of machismo laced BS may have passed for what makes an interesting character when Rob Liefield was still relevant, but that era of comics is dead and buried. It’s finally time to realize that Logan isn’t interesting or fun. There’s nothing challenging about his character and you know it’s true. Start throwing away all of your collectible Wolverine holograph covers and start voting on the points you agree with and vote down the points you disagree with. Also, to reiterate: Wolverine isn’t as cool as you think he is.

1 168 VOTES

He's Seriously Overpowered

He's Seriously Overpowered is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Wolverine Really Isn't As Cool As You Think He Is
Photo: Marvel

This may be a cliché complaint but it has to be addressed. In his time in the Marvel universe Logan has had claw gloves, claws in his hands, adamantium bones, a healing factor, his ears attuned to specific sound waves, and the ability to tell when someone is a shapeshifter. Phew, that's a lot. Is that all? Not even close.

He's impervious to spicy food, he cant get drunk, and he shares a telepathic link with various mutants. Only one of those things was made up and it wasn't even the most ridiculous power. Seriously, what are his powers? All the things? What's the point of making a character who can do all the stuff?

This is the same problem with Superman; when a character can literally solve all their problems they immediately become less interesting and not cool. You know what character is cool? Rogue. Rogue is cool because she can never truly experience love, just like everyone you know. 

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2 147 VOTES

He's Terrible To Women

He's Terrible To Women is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Wolverine Really Isn't As Cool As You Think He Is
Photo: Marvel

Boy, does Logan ever have a terrible track record with the ladies. It's been argued that Wolverine has the best relationship with women in the world of comic books, but this is simply not true. Aside from having married multiple women who end up dead in one violent fashion or another, he goes out of his way to break up Cyclops and Jean Grey, hooks up with Storm despite harboring intense boner emotions for other women, and befriends younger, female teammates as a way to groom them for future romantic possibilities.

Logan likes to say that he's the "best there is at what he does," and if he's talking about being terrible to women then he's absolutely correct. Oh, he also tried to have sex with the 15 year old Mary Jane Watson when he was stuck in Spider-Man's body in Ultimate Spider-Man #67. Gross. 

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3 132 VOTES

No One Can Decide On His Origin

No One Can Decide On His Origi... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Wolverine Really Isn't As Cool As You Think He Is
Photo: Marvel

Logan's history is shrouded in a dense fog of retconning and make-em-ups. While this is not unheard of for a comic book character, Wolverine takes it to a new, confusing level. He's a character with no discernable past beyond what an author decides he needs for a specific story.

But why is that? Because he was created as a one-off character that was never supposed to become a cultural icon for jocks and people that buy comic book t-shirts at Target. 

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4 139 VOTES

Wolverine Is The Worst Anti-Hero

Wolverine Is The Worst Anti-He... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Wolverine Really Isn't As Cool As You Think He Is
Photo: Marvel

Most comic readers who have yet to realize how much of a drag Wolverine actually is would describe Logan as an anti-hero. That's categorically incorrect. To be an anti-hero, he would have to be presented as a bad guy who did good things in order to keep doing the bad stuff he loved. Magneto is an anti-hero, for example. He's a legit bad dude who, at times, has done good things to save the world that he loves to destroy.

Wolverine is a true blue good guy through and through. Just because Wolverine began his life in the funny papers as a Hulk villain doesn't mean that he can still be considered a villain. His introduction to the world happened 417 years ago, or whenever that comic came out, and it has no basis in the world of modern Marvel continuity. Wolverine is the definition of Campbellian hero: He's a guy who doesn't want to go on a quest who is pushed into it by X-treme circumstances and comes out the other end changed, usually for the better. 

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