James Bond's pants should come with a warning label: if you unzip them, there's a strong chance you'll be violently murdered within the next ten minutes (of screen time, at least). While Bond girls are known for being beautiful, malleable, and often working for the other side, they also have another common characteristic, death-by-sex. They're frequently killed shortly after shagging 007, often as a direct result of said shag. Bond outlives them all, and continues to freely spread his seed without giving much thought to the women he's condemning. What strange puritanical morality in swinging '60s movies.
Women 007 condemned are hardly helpless. Many are dangerous spies who seem destined to outlive Bond, given his habit of living life on the edge. Yet, thanks to sexist Bond tropes, these wily women invariably meet a gruesome end. Talk about coded messages in film.
For Bond experts out there keeping track, Elektra King (Sophie Marceau) of The World Is Not Enough and Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) of Die Another Day both sleep with 007 and die, but are not on this list. Why? Because they're villains who aren't killed until the end, and therefore don't fit the trope. May Day, who does appear here, is most definitely a henchwoman, not a villain.
So let's pour one out for the following ladies who had so much to offer yet fell victim to brutal, untimely deaths.
Bond: Sean "OG" Connery
Cause of Death: Skin Asphyxation
The Deets: Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) was hired by archvillain Auric Goldfinger to sit on his hotel room balcony and spy on his opponent's hands while he played cards on the pool deck below. When a suspicious James Bond investigates, he finds beautiful Jill in Goldfinger's suite and promptly bangs her.
Jill has just enough screen time to prance around the bed in Bond's over-sized shirt (a classic Bond-girl pastime) before Goldfinger's henchman Oddjob kills her by painting her entire body gold. She therefore dies of "skin asphyxiation," which, to save you the Googling time, is not real a thing.
Film: On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Bond: George "One Shot" Lazenby
Cause of Death: Shot in the head
The Deets: James Bond once got hitched and, surprise surprise, it didn't end well. Tracy di Vincenzo (Diana Rigg, of The Avengers fame) is the daughter of crime boss Marc-Ange Draco. Draco has trouble dealing with his wild, unruly daughter, so he decides the best way to get her to settle down into a nice quiet life is to have her marry known spy and philanderer 007. Bond agrees to date her under the condition Draco give him information on longtime enemy Ernst Blofeld.
Of course, James and Tracy fall in love for reals and Bond asks her to marry him after a particularly cozy evening in a barn. They get about one minute of post-wedding bliss before Blofeld and friends kill the bride in a drive-by shooting.
Bond: Daniel Craig
Cause of Death: Shot in the head
The Deets: Sévérine (Bérénice Marlohe) is employed by Raoul Silva, one of the biggest psychopaths of the 007 franchise. When Bond approaches her with the aim of meeting Silva, he finds her scared and looking for a way out. Thinking Bond might be her best option to kill Silva, she invites him onboard a boat heading to Silva's island. He obliges and the two get steamy in the shower, because fear of impending death apparently turns them on.
Bringing Bond to the island wasn't exactly following orders, so Sévérine is beaten and tied up. Then Bond is forced to play a sick and twisted game with Silva, to shoot a shot of scotch off her head. While Bond shoots high, Silva shoots her in the head and kills her, which Bond considers "a waste of good scotch." He then attacks Silva and all his men, which begs the question, couldn't he have done that before Sévérine was murdered?
Film: Casino Royale
Bond: Daniel Craig, AKA Crybaby McCryface
Cause of Death: Drowning, sort-of suicide
The Deets: You can't really put this one on Bond, because Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) was one complicated Bond girl. Sent to work with 007 as a treasury officer bankrolling and overseeing his high stakes poker game, she's secretly a double agent working for bad boy Mr. White. Vesper didn't choose the double agent life, though, the double agent life chose her. The bad guys kidnapped her boyfriend and blackmailed her into helping them.
Despite all these complications in her life/backstory, Vesper falls in love with Bond. When they're kidnapped and tortured, she promises the money Bond won in the poker game in exchange for his safety. After a sex-crazed vacay in Italy, she goes to drop the money, at which point Bond is onto her, and follows. A chase through the streets and over the canals of Venice off.
In the ensuing shootout, Vesper is trapped in an old elevator in a flooding building. When Bond finally reaches the lift to rescue her, she locks the door and plummets to the water surging into a sinking house, drowning herself over her guilt and leaving us with Sad James Bond for like two more movies.
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