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22 G.I. Joe Action Figures You Wouldn't Want in Your Platoon

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List RulesVote up the G.I. Joe toys you never wanted to take on top secret missions

With so many Joes, it was inevitable that there would be stupid G.I. Joe action figures. G.I. Joe's tagline for most of the '80s and '90s was "A Real American Hero." That means that the vast and ever expanding G.I. Joe toy line tried to represent every facet of the American armed forces. As awesome as Hasbro was at churning these little plastic dudes they definitely missed the mark once or twice. 

That's why there were enough duds, losers, and outsiders for this extensive list of the Worst G.I. Joe action figures. This is for every kid that didn't know what to do with Mainframe or the child that had to come up with something cool for Dial Tone to do while the other heroes were at war against Cobra.

So vote up the most ridiculous G.I. Joe toys and characters below, then hop in the silliest G.I. Joe vehicle you can find and hit the road. 
  • Photo: Joe A Day
    Why in the world is this guy named the Ice Cream Soldier? Why, the throw Cobra off in battle and have them lower their expectations when the flamethrower-wielding 'hero' shows up to "scorch those slimy snakes until they melt like hot fudge on a summer sidewalk." Whoa, that's pretty grisly. 
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  • Photo: YoJoe
    The eco-consciousness boom of the '90s resulted in a line of Eco-Warriors, the most underwhelming of which is Clean Sweep. This guy shows up AFTER Cobra has spilled toxic waste all over the place and then has his giant water-shooting tank-thing clean up after them. You know this guy hated it when the Joes had one of their all night keggers. 
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  • Photo: YoJoe
    Essentially Han Solo working for the Joes, Space Shot is representative of everything wrong with the G.I. Joes towards the end of the classic run of 3 3/4 inch figures. He is the umpteenth space-guy and completely ignores everything that made the line awesome in the early '80s. Get rid of that red, white, and blue logo and this guy looks like he fits in better with the CORPS line of figures.
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  • Photo: YoJoe
    Make no mistake, the colonel's primary function in the G.I. Joe organization is as a pencil pusher. In fact, his file card goes over this again and again, even listing his primary specialty as administrative strategist. It looks like the position also comes with the perk of picking out your own code name too. 
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