Entertainment

The Absolute Worst People at the Movies 

Tucker DeSaulnier
Updated December 20, 2019 8.7k votes 1.1k voters 42k views 25 items

What's worse than bad movies? Bad audiences. Going to the movies would be great if it weren't for the other people, or at least those people who can't stop talking, texting, kicking seats, and crunching concessions at a decibel level higher than the actual film.

Film has a rare ability to transport us to different times and places, allowing a few hundred people in the audience to share a communal experience despite being mostly strangers. When even just one of these oblivious moviegoers is in the theater, however, it's a lot harder to be swept away by the magic of cinema. A horrible audience member can ruin it for everybody.

Who are the absolute worst moviegoers this side of the lobby? That's up to you.

1
The Person Who Actually Answers Their Phone
It's one thing to have your phone ring in the middle of the movie, but it's another to actually answer it. The acceptable response is to silence the phone as quickly as possible. This specimen forgoes all decency in order to answer, often explaining, "No, I'm in a movie." Occasionally, they'll even continue with a review, opining, "Nah, it's crap."
Is this the worst?
2
The Seat Kicker
You know what enhances the cinematic experience? A pair of clodhoppers slapping into the back of your seat every two minutes. Or, if it's a youngster sitting behind you, a constant fidgety tapping guaranteed to ruin the flick and send your blood pressure through the roof.
Is this the worst?
3
The Conversationalist
Also known as "The Talker," this one just can't shut up, but isn't even talking about anything that's happening onscreen. This annoyance bomb just keeps updating their seatmate about whatever comes to mind, because apparently the movie theater is a place to just catch up and chat.
Is this the worst?
4
The Parents Who Brought Their Toddler to a Tarantino Movie

A parent has the right to decide what kind of content is suitable for their child. It feels like a moral quandary, however, when there's a four-year-old in the crowd for Inglourious Basterds.  Before the lights go down, you wonder if maybe the parents just don't know what the movie's actually about. Maybe you should say something?

Is this the worst?