Working at a restaurant might possibly be one of the hardest jobs around. In addition to the long hours and low pay, waiters and hostesses must also deal with rude, dumb, and ridiculous customers all throughout the day.
Soulless Diner Expects a Discount
"I was working as the duty manager in a steakhouse back in around 1995. We had a packed house and were running around like crazy when one of the waitresses called me over to her table.
"It was a table of four, old mom and dad and their two adult kids. The old guy was having a heart attack. When I got there, I checked his pulse, which was faint and erratic, so I put him flat on the floor. I kept checking for a pulse and felt it fade away, then stop, so I started CPR and heart massage, while telling the waitress to call an ambulance. Obviously, everyone was looking as people do.
"I continued trying to revive him and was joined by an off duty paramedic and between us, we gave him chest compressions and blew into his mouth to keep oxygen circulating. It took about 20 minutes for the ambulance to arrive and during this time we were unable to get his heart going. I knew he was dead, but could not bring myself to tell his wife and kids, so I just kept going with the CPR.
"When the ambulance arrived, they took over and decided to get him onboard and take him to the hospital. His wife and kids got in the ambulance. I was totally shaken up after having this guy literally die in my arms.
"As I walked to the kitchen to take a time out, a fat b*tch from one of the tables nearby stopped me and started complaining that it put her off her meal and ruined her night out. I was seething as she said we should have had some form of portable walls so diners would not have to watch 'that sort of thing.' I could tell she had just thought it would be a good opportunity to get a discount on her bill.
"I was livid and nearly punched her when my boss pulled me away and made me sit outside. I think my parting words were something along the lines of, 'Your f*cking night was ruined? Think about that poor family who have just lost a father, you f*cking slag.' That was the day that I realized some people are just f*cked in the head and lack any compassion or empathy.
"A couple of days later, the daughter came in to tell me her father had passed away and to thank me for my efforts. Damn, I felt so bad for her."
Crazy Woman Performs a Baptism
"I waited on this woman who carried a Bible around with her everywhere and was a general psychopath. She would pee in the booths after drinking literally 15 cups of coffee, scream at waitresses, scream at her reflection in the mirror, scream at the plants - you name it. Everyone would fight over who got stuck waiting on her, and one day, I drew the the short straw and waited on her.
"I took her order and went to put it in the kitchen. I was getting mocking laughs from co-workers. I said something to the effect of, 'Good Lord, tell me about it.' She overheard this and yelled at me saying that the Lord would not save me. Then, she dumped a pitcher of water over my head and told me I was baptized. I go into the bathroom to ring out my hair, and she follows me in, looks me dead in the eyes, and reaches up her dress to get the bloody pad she was wearing, stuck it to the wall and walked out.
"I've seen a lot of f*cked up sh*t waitressing, but that was the only time I was left speechless."
Bagel Lady Demands Premium Service
"I worked at a soup and sandwich cafe for three years while I was in undergrad. Good job, easy money. Anyway, we offered quick breakfast options: bagels with cream cheese, breakfast sandwiches, burritos, and a quick two-egg breakfast with toast, hash browns, or grits. We offered a $1 small cup of coffee because Starbucks was two blocks down, and my manager was like that. We broke even on the coffee, not really hoping to profit. Just trying to get people in the door and serve quick, good food. That kind of place.
"A super yoga soccer mom started coming in every morning to buy a coffee. She would bring in her own bagel and her own cream cheese. She would purchase the coffee, and then ask us to toast her bagel and put her cream cheese on it for her and expect us to run the food out to her like we did for every other paying customer. While she was purchasing her coffee, she would ask that we put on new gloves while preparing her food. Okay, fine. Not a big deal the first few times because the owner (a working manager) was trying to keep his customers happy all of the time. However, this budding new cafe was starting to increase in business exponentially. This 'Bagel Lady' started coming in every single day. The boss grew a little tired of her request because after all, he isn't seeing the benefit of selling her a $1 cup of coffee and having us prepare her food for her. She didn't tip either. However, because my boss always lived by 'the customer is always right' method, he did this.
"She came in on a Saturday morning once. Thinking she got special treatment because she was a regular customer, she decided she would skip the line and put her bagel on the counter near the register. She waited in line, purchased her $1 coffee, and noticed her bagel was right where she left it, untouched.
"'Excuse me, I expected this to be toasted and ready when I purchased my coffee. I come in all of the time, you should know me by now. I am one of your most frequent customers.'
"'Yes, ma'am, I apologize. I did not see it. Here is your coffee, and I will bring it out to you in a moment.'
"'I just don't understand you people sometimes, so incompetent and rude to your customers. This is the kind of behavior that leads to disease and sickness in restaurants.'
"I didn't realize my boss was standing over my shoulder during this encounter. He sort of pushes me out of the way, grabs her bagel (un-gloved hands), takes a bite, goes to hand it to her, drops it, and asks her to leave with a mouthful of bagel. He goes to his office and closes his door still chewing the bagel. He comes out and says, 'Coffee is now $2.'"
Baby Leaves a Present on Chair
"I was working at a restaurant, but I wasn't the server in this case. I was just the busser. Well, this family of six or seven came in with little kids. One of them needs to be in a high chair. It's not a big deal since we're a restaurant that is essentially just for serving children.
"This family ends up being super rude the whole time and extremely loud. The little kid was screaming, but the parents are not doing anything at all. It got really bad. Well, they were sitting outside and all of a sudden, I noticed them take the little kid out of the high chair and push the high chair to the edge of the seating area. I think it's kind of weird, so I went up to them to see what's up.
"It ended up that their kid literally sh*t in the high chair - one of the biggest, mushiest, darkest, and disgusting things I've ever seen in my life. I almost threw up when I saw it. It smelled terrible. This family then had the audacity to ask for their whole meal comped because their baby sh*t in the high chair.
"My manager said that they couldn't do it, and they were pretty pissed, but they didn't even bother trying to clean it or anything and left."