Total Nerd The Most Entertainingly Awful Reviews of Fantastic Four  

Tucker DeSaulnier
743 votes 185 voters 147.5k views 16 items

The Fantastic Four reviews are in and it's clobberin' time, ladies and gentlemen. Based on the critical reaction to this comic book movie reboot, Marvel's first family is still waiting for a worthy movie. Months of bad buzz and behind the scenes rumblings are erupting into full-blown bad reviews, mostly singling out the reboot's grinding mediocrity. Even the few positive Fantastic Four reviews lean negative, stretching themselves thin to justify kinda-sorta liking the cinematic shamblefest.

Nobody's saying that this Fantastic Four doesn't have a great cast and a promising young director. Miles Teller stars as Mr. Fantastic, along with Kate Mara as Invisible Woman, Michael B. Jordan as Human Torch, and Jamie Bell as the Thing. Josh Trank, who made his directorial debut with Chronicle, steps up to the blockbuster plate.

Unfortunately, according to the critics, Trank strikes out with his serious, grim, and gritty approach. The latest and most expensive Fantastic Four joins the still-unreleased 1994 cash-in, the roundly mocked 2005 movie, and its 2007 sequel as a comic book movie whiff.

Vote up the most accurately dismissive negative reactions in the list of Fantastic Four reviews below! If you see Fantastic Four and disagree with the critics, flex your power by voting and clobber the comments section!
1 104 VOTES

Worse Than Pixels. Yes, Worse Than Pixels

Worse Than Pixels. Yes, Worse ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Most Entertainingly Awful Reviews of Fantastic Four
Photo: via Pinterest

"Seemingly made by people who have never seen a superhero movie and starring people unhappy to be in one, Fantastic Four is a shocking abomination of an outstretched, moronic, drama-less time-suck that somehow manages to be less fun than Pixels, which was only slightly more enjoyable than slamming a door on your face."

We're actually curious whether or not the critic at Redeye spends time slamming their face in a door.
90 14
Is this accurate?
2 57 VOTES

Lame? Check! Unimaginative? Check!

Lame? Check! Unimaginative? Ch... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Most Entertainingly Awful Reviews of Fantastic Four
Photo: via Pinterest

"Fantastic Four feels like a 100-minute trailer for a movie that never happens. At this point in the ever-expanding cinematic superhero game, it behooves any filmmakers who gets involved to have at least a mildly fresh take on their characters and material, but this third attempt to create a worthy cinematic franchise from the first of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's iconic comic book creations, which can genuinely claim to have launched the Age of Marvel, proves maddeningly lame and unimaginative."

That's from Hollywood Reporter's review, which also describes the film's visual style as "dark, unattractive," and "gloomy."
47 10
Is this accurate?
3 53 VOTES

Wait, This Movie Takes Itself Seriously?

Wait, This Movie Takes Itself ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Most Entertainingly Awful Reviews of Fantastic Four
Photo: via Pinterest

"It’s barely even a superhero movie, and ultimately fails to entertain on the most fundamental levels unless your affection for these characters is righteous and strong. What Fantastic Four fails to grasp, at its own depressing peril, is that taking the source material seriously didn’t mean the movie couldn’t be fun."

A sharp mind at Crave Online points out the basic problem with a super-serious movie about Stretchy Guy, Fire Guy, Invisible Lady, and Rock Guy.
44 9
Is this accurate?
4 55 VOTES

To Be Fair, Few Movies Can Live Up to Real Genius

To Be Fair, Few Movies Can Liv... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Most Entertainingly Awful Reviews of Fantastic Four
Photo: via Imgur

"The first half of Fantastic Four, with its bright junior scientists and their shadowy, nefarious backers, calls to mind the ’80s comedy Real Genius, only without any of the humor or charm or eccentricity. That was a movie that knew how to make smart young people delightfully odd and unique; the ones we get here are randomly assigned one or two personality traits each."

This review from The Wrap goes on to complain that Ben Grimm doesn't even get one or two personality traits.
45 10
Is this accurate?