Total Nerd 30 of the Craziest Stars Wars: The Force Awakens Rumors  

Jacob Shelton
3.1k votes 421 voters 364.9k views 30 items Embed

A list of the wildest, silliest, and worst Star Wars: The Force Awakens theories. With JJ Abrams and Disney keeping Episode VII shrouded in secrecy, Star Wars rumors have run rampant. The new film (and resulting series) is expected to bring the Star Wars franchise out of the dark ages and back to the pantheon of beloved cinema, but no one has any idea what the movie is actually about. That hasn’t stopped literally everyone from having an opinion or an idea.

Most of the theories on this list serve as crude fan fiction, allowing the dreamers to fantasize of a Star Wars built around their storytelling preferences. And as theories by people on the Internet go, most of them are completely from left field. That's why there's now a list of the worst fan theories about The Force Awakens.

One thing that we’ve noticed from reading countless insane Star Wars theories is that a lot of them seem to posit that Abrams is going to do away with the iconic opening crawl. Well guess what babies, that isn't happening! If we’re sure of one thing, it’s that the iconic yellow text will roll up the screen.

These theories are most likely all bunk, but there might be SPOILERS on this list. As wild as a lot of these rumors are, any of them could be right. So take all of these with a grain of salt, but don’t get mad at us if turns out that Mace Windu had his consciousness downloaded into an R2 unit.

Vote for the worst Star Wars theory and use the Force and leave us your own crackpot Force Awakens theory in the comments. Don't be shy, your theory can't be any crazier than some of the ones below!
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Have You Seen This Jedi?


Have You Seen This Jedi? is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 30 of the Craziest Stars Wars: The Force Awakens Rumors
Photo: via Pinterest
So the JJ Abrams Star Wars universe is ditching the Expanded Universe continuity, meaning no Skywalker kids and no Luke building a new Jedi Order. Kylo Ren will be the first Force user to arise after the events of Return of the Jedi, and here is the kicker: Fans speculate that he was trained by Luke. The plot of Episode VII will have Luke in hiding, like old Ben Kenobi, after his student has fallen to the Dark Side. Our new heroes will have to seek him out to be trained in the ways of the Jedi.
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Han and Leia's Twins are the Last of the Jedi


Han and Leia's Twins are t... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 30 of the Craziest Stars Wars: The Force Awakens Rumors
Photo: via Twitter
One theory is that Ren and Rey are Han and Leia's kids, and they are the only Force-sensitive individuals in the galaxy since Luke trained Leia to harness the powers latent in the Skywalker bloodline, only to lose Ren to the Dark Side. This puts Luke on a path of redemption: Can he save Ren like he saved his father? And can the Resistance leverage the Light Side strength of newcomer Finn to get what they need?
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Han Dies In this One


Han Dies In this One is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 30 of the Craziest Stars Wars: The Force Awakens Rumors
Photo: via Pinterest
Theorizing that the first new Star Wars film in quite some time will mirror A New Hope, plenty of fans on the internet believe that Han, like Obi-Wan in the original film, will serve as a mentor for the new heroes and bite the big one towards the end of the film. As annoying as that sounds, it's probably going to happen.
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The Fancy New Lightsaber Serves a Practical Purpose


The Fancy New Lightsaber Serve... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 30 of the Craziest Stars Wars: The Force Awakens Rumors
Photo: via Imgur
In what may be the most economical theory posted online, the new, much debated, three-pronged lightsaber isn't owned by a Sith lord, but Luke Skywalker himself! And the reason for the extra mini sabers? To keep his hand from getting cut off again, duh!