Thanksgiving is probably the biggest catfish of all the holidays. It seems great on paper: eating carb-y food, catching up with family, showing gratitude for the people in your life. But really it's the culmination of several ingredients for disaster that inevitably blow up in our faces. Has there ever been a Thanksgiving dinner without some sort of drama? Maybe. But I'll believe it when I see it.
Whether you're the type of person who's excited for Thanksgiving or the type of person who's excited that it's over, you'll still appreciate this collection of the worst Thanksgiving fights and arguments that make you thankful for your family.
My mom told my cousin's husband not to cuss in front of their baby because she'll eventually repeat it. I get it, not her place maybe? Cousin's husband pulls out his gun and threatens to shoot my mom for telling him what to do. He looks exactly like you'd imagine.
I was around 5-6 years old. Us kids were playing hide-n-seek and I hid way in the back of Grandma's closet. While I was hiding back there, I found this beautiful deep red robe, I assumed it belonged to my grandfather who [passed] just after I was born. I tried it on and it was huge on me but the silk felt really smooth and cool, so I decided to go ask my grandma if I could have it to grow into.
Turns out granddad was a Grand Dragon in the Carolina KKK and it was his ceremonial robe. The family members who didnt know about this already were highly upset, the ones who knew were embarrassed as hell. There was a small riot when I walked into the kitchen wearing it. That was an awkward Thanksgiving.
When I was a little kid, I asked to say the prayer. It was a big honor to get to say it. My family was notorious for fighting so I said my little prayer all nice and cute then ended with a smarta** "God please let my family act normal today and not fight". Before I could blink my German grandmother slapped me across the face really hard which p*ssed my mother off. Lots of yelling and we left.
My uncle and grandfather dont have a good relationship, but were tolerating each other because Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking, we have a big Thanksgiving maybe 15-20 who love to eat. I had brought in the cheese and everything was going fine. Flash-forward to dinner time, the food is coming out and as tradition dictates we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like," I know you hate me, but at least I'm grate", and shit hit the fan. My uncle literally went into a rage, and was yelling at everyone because we didn't tell him he was using "tainted" cheese. Then said "f*ck it" and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on. Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on. The rest of us ordered Chinese food, and kicked my uncle out, and my grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much "holiday joy" in him at the time. Surprisingly my uncle hasn't come to holidays in years now.