Entertainment

Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says  

Jacob Shelton
969 votes 159 voters 4.5k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up the aspects of Don't Breathe that prove it is wildly overrated.

Don’t Breathe, the sophomore film from horror director Fede Alvarez, has been tearing up the box office, and critics are crowning it as one of the greatest thrillers of the modern era. That’s cool for Alvarez and the film’s star, Jane Levy, but the movie is just okay. It’s fine! It’s a movie that someone wrote, filmed, and showed to audiences. But if people are going to continue to breathlessly laud Don’t Breathe, then it's somebody's civic duty to point out all the reasons Don't Breathe is overrated.

Whether you’ve seen the movie and you’re looking for something to get mad about on the Internet, or you’re just a curious bystander, vote up the worst things about Don't Breathe, the things that prove it's not a horror masterpiece.

Don’t Breathe closely follows in the dual traditions of home invasion films like You’re Next and Funny Games, and feminist revenge films like I Spit on Your Grave and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it never reaches the heights of those movies, and instead settles for a middle ground akin to a hefty shrug. If you liked Don’t Breathe – that’s cool. We’re Happy for you. But there are a lot of reasons why Don't Breathe isn't as good as everyone says and we’re here to explain them to you.

Vote on the aspects of Don’t Breath that prove it is wildly overrated, then leave us a comment about why you were rolling your eyes in the theater. 

list ordered by
1
The Whole Plot Falls Apart Onc... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
The Whole Plot Falls Apart Once You Apply Basic Logic
2
Are We Supposed to be Rooting ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Are We Supposed to be Rooting for the Burglars or the Sadistic Blind Guy?
3
There's Far Too Much Breat... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
There's Far Too Much Breathing for a Film Called Don't Breathe
4
Drunk Guys at Weddings Make Be... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Drunk Guys at Weddings Make Better Decisions Than the Protagonists
5
What Was Happening with That L... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
What Was Happening with That Ladybug Story?
6
The Protagonists Go into the B... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
The Protagonists Go into the Basement More than Anyone in Friday the 13th
7
Since When Are Basements as La... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Since When Are Basements as Large as City Blocks?
8
It's Needlessly Complicated is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
It's Needlessly Complicated
9
Does Anyone Know What Happened... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Does Anyone Know What Happened to the Dog?
10
How Did a Blind Guy Install Su... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
How Did a Blind Guy Install Such Complicated Locks?
11
Dylan Minnette Looks like the ... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Dylan Minnette Looks like the Fifth Jonas Brother
12
Aren't Scary Movies Supposed t... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Aren't Scary Movies Supposed to Actually Be Scary?
13
Can You Imagine How Good This ... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Can You Imagine How Good This Would Have Been as a Short?
14
Jump Scares? More like Sitting... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Jump Scares? More like Sitting Non-Scares
15
it Ruins Turkey Basters for Ev... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
it Ruins Turkey Basters for Everyone
16
The Geography of the Home Is P... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
The Geography of the Home Is Poorly Established
17
It Has the Lowest Stakes of An... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
It Has the Lowest Stakes of Any Revenge Movie Ever
18
The Only Person of Color in th... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
The Only Person of Color in the Movie Is Named "Money"
19
How Does the Blind Guy Fall As... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
How Does the Blind Guy Fall Asleep When He Plays His TV So Loud?
20
Isn't This Just the Plot from ... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
Isn't This Just the Plot from V/H/S?
21
This Movie Needs to Chill with... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
This Movie Needs to Chill with All the Foreshadowing
22
It Fetishizes the Destruction ... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
It Fetishizes the Destruction of Detroit
23
The Insanely Heavy-Handed Dial... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
The Insanely Heavy-Handed Dialogue
24
This Movie Seems to Kind of Ha... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
This Movie Seems to Kind of Hate Women
25
No One's Life Has Ever Been Ch... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list Don't Breathe Is Fine, but Here's Why It's Not as Great as Everyone Says
No One's Life Has Ever Been Changed by $300,000