Don’t Breathe, the sophomore film from horror director Fede Alvarez, has been tearing up the box office, and critics are crowning it as one of the greatest thrillers of the modern era. That’s cool for Alvarez and the film’s star, Jane Levy, but the movie is just okay. It’s fine! It’s a movie that someone wrote, filmed, and showed to audiences. But if people are going to continue to breathlessly laud Don’t Breathe, then it's somebody's civic duty to point out all the reasons Don't Breathe is overrated.
Whether you’ve seen the movie and you’re looking for something to get mad about on the Internet, or you’re just a curious bystander, vote up the worst things about Don't Breathe, the things that prove it's not a horror masterpiece.
Don’t Breathe closely follows in the dual traditions of home invasion films like You’re Next and Funny Games, and feminist revenge films like I Spit on Your Grave and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it never reaches the heights of those movies, and instead settles for a middle ground akin to a hefty shrug. If you liked Don’t Breathe – that’s cool. We’re Happy for you. But there are a lot of reasons why Don't Breathe isn't as good as everyone says and we’re here to explain them to you.
Vote on the aspects of Don’t Breath that prove it is wildly overrated, then leave us a comment about why you were rolling your eyes in the theater.
The Whole Plot Falls Apart Once You Apply Basic Logic
Are We Supposed to be Rooting for the Burglars or the Sadistic Blind Guy?
There's Far Too Much Breathing for a Film Called Don't Breathe
Drunk Guys at Weddings Make Better Decisions Than the Protagonists
How Did a Blind Guy Install Such Complicated Locks?
What Was Happening with That Ladybug Story?
Since When Are Basements as Large as City Blocks?
The Protagonists Go into the Basement More than Anyone in Friday the 13th
Dylan Minnette Looks like the Fifth Jonas Brother
Does Anyone Know What Happened to the Dog?
Aren't Scary Movies Supposed to Actually Be Scary?
It's Needlessly Complicated
Can You Imagine How Good This Would Have Been as a Short?
Jump Scares? More like Sitting Non-Scares
it Ruins Turkey Basters for Everyone
The Geography of the Home Is Poorly Established
It Has the Lowest Stakes of Any Revenge Movie Ever
The Only Person of Color in the Movie Is Named "Money"
Isn't This Just the Plot from V/H/S?
How Does the Blind Guy Fall Asleep When He Plays His TV So Loud?
It Fetishizes the Destruction of Detroit
This Movie Needs to Chill with All the Foreshadowing
The Insanely Heavy-Handed Dialogue
This Movie Seems to Kind of Hate Women
No One's Life Has Ever Been Changed by $300,000