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The Most Low-Key Evil Things Cartman Has Ever Done On 'South Park'

List RulesVote up Cartman's most subtly heinous acts.

For as infuriating as Eric Cartman can be, fans of South Park have to give the foul-mouthed, self-centered fourth grader some credit. Cartman's most evil moments prove he knows how to scheme and play the long game, like when he fed Scott Tenorman's own parents to him in a chili-making contest. But not all of Cartman's heinous acts are as openly horrific. Cartman has his low-key evil moments. These particular acts might seem arbitrary or even forgivable for a fourth grader, but Cartman is a master manipulator. These low-key evil things Cartman has done to the town of South Park are downright chilling. 

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  • 1
    269 VOTES

    He Rigged His Lice Test Specifically To Implicate Kenny Just Because He's Poor

    In Season 11, episode 3 ("Lice Capades"), Mr. Garrison informs his class they will be undergoing a head lice check. All the kids are mortified at the thought of being labeled as someone infested with lice, and Cartman quickly points a finger:

    Uh th-that is completely unnecessary. Everyone knows that only poor people can get lice. The only person that can spread it here is Kenny.

    When Clyde is informed he has lice, he is humiliated and quickly takes care of the issue (much to the chagrin of the lice world living on his head). Cartman is so terrified of this Scarlet Letter that he makes up a test he copied from John Carpenter's The Thing. Instead of testing his classmates' blood for shape-shifting abilities, however, he claims to test it for "lice" and makes Kenny's plate jump when he puts in a hot wire. "Of course I was right! I told you only poor people get lice!" Cartman screams as Kenny runs out mortified. Cartman manages to lie (he, and everyone else in the class, has lice) and dehumanize a friend for their economic status all at once. 

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    Is this low-key evil?
  • 2
    232 VOTES

    He Implicated Random, Innocent People In Serious Transgressions

    In Season 8, the episode titled "Cartman's Incredible Gift," starts off with Cartman being a typical fourth grader, AKA doing something wreckless: he tries to fly off his roof with cardboard wings and wakes up in the hospital.

    Cartman's bed is next to the victim of a serial assailant, and gullible Sergeant Yates, who is questioning them, believes Cartman has psychic powers after he correctly predicts a few obvious routines in the hospital. Cartman goes along with it and randomly names people as the perpetrator of heinous transgressions, all in the name of cash. And Yates, being as gullible as he is, locks these innocent people up without question. 

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  • 3
    338 VOTES

    He Repeatedly Gaslit Heidi

    Throughout Season 20, the students of South Park learn a lot about cyberbullying. Fourth grader Heidi decides she is going to get rid of social media once and for all. So does Cartman, who was (for once) wrongfully accused of being an online menace by his friends. For brief moments throughout the season, it looks as if Heidi is helping Cartman grow, even if he hits a few speed bumps along the way. 

    By the Season 21 premiere, however, Cartman is over Heidi. Instead of communicating frustrations with her (outside of telling her she is the reason behind his unhappiness), he vents about her to his friends and lets his anger fester. Confused, Heidi attempts to make amends with a clearly frustrated Cartman, and the two begin a toxic on-again, off-again co-dependent relationship. Cartman claims he will self-harm when Heidi initially breaks things off, and the two spiral from there.

    By episode 8 ("Moss Piglets"), Heidi is so lost from her authentic, thoughtful self that she has taken on the aggressive, self-centered actions of Cartman. It takes a lot to break a person piece by piece, but Cartman manages to do it without even trying. 

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    Is this low-key evil?
  • 4
    199 VOTES

    He Trivialized Self-Harm

    In the second episode of Season 21, Tweek is freaking out about the state of the world. Between international political tensions fueled by a president's irresponsible tweets and the aftermath of climate change, Tweek has a bit of a breakdown trying to focus on his daily life. 

    Embarrassed after a teary voicemail he left Heidi is leaked, Cartman doubles down on his warning and takes every opportunity to claim he might take his own life. He completely disregards the very real terror and isolation that people like Tweek feel (and could act on). Cartman even butts into a well-meaning song meant to end texting and driving with an emo-rap verse:

    Give a standing ovation for suicide in our nation

    Or I will rip my own guts out without one hesitation

    Dedication, that's what it's taken to awaken people to care

    And yet my future's so hazy, my girlfriend's makin' me crazy

    But still I'm workin' so hard. You know, just tryin' to hold on,

    'Cause I know that you don't miss me so much if I was gone.

    And all the voices start solo, but every day I hear them grow.

    Sayin' "Eric, don't do it! Don't do it! Noooo."

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    Is this low-key evil?