Humor The Worst Things To Say To Someone After Sex  

Jacob Shelton
2.6k votes 512 voters 23.3k views 22 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the most cringe-worthy post-coital comments.

Even if you're lucky enough to have a successful hookup, there are still plenty of ways to mess it up after you've done the deed. Nothing kills moods quite like awkward post-coital encounters. Things you shouldn't say to a sexual partner range from the obvious ("Should I order you a Lyft?") to the subtle ("Does this mean we have to follow each other on Twitter?"). The absolute worst lines might be the ones that involve family members, but dropping any of these phrases instantly labels a person as someone who has awful post-coital manners.

What not to say in bed should be obvious to both parties. But if you have the unfortunate luck of ending up on the receiving end of one of these lines, your fun evening is likely to become a sex horror story. Make up a reason to leave (or boot them out), and have an excuse to avoid sex ready in case they try to text you later.

list ordered by

1
151 50
Your Body Wasn't What I Expected

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2
122 36
Thank God That's Over With

3
124 40
Well, That Was Regrettable

4
132 55
I Can't Wait To Call My Mom

5
128 57
Should I Order You An Uber Or Do You Prefer Lyft?

6
101 46
You Look Just Like My Dad

7
108 53
That'll Be $50

8
86 41
Everyone's Got HPV Now Right?

9
74 42
Good Thing You Have Red Sheets

10
77 53
So That's Sex

11
66 50
Baby, You're Ready To Meet The Kids

12
43 36
That Was A Top 50 Performance

13
57 63
I've Got To Get Up Pretty Early Tomorrow

14
41 59
*Using A Faux Daft Punk Voice* ONE MORE TIME

15
34 50
Does This Mean We Have To Follow Each Other On Twitter?

16
35 54
How Many Calories Do You Think We Burned?

17
34 53
Did You Know That The Moon Is A Hologram?

18
31 49
I Came Here To Chew Bubble Gum And Have Sex And I'm All Out Of Sex

19
30 50
I'm Totally Putting This In My Act

20
33 63
Did You Know That [Anything] Was A False Flag Operation?

21
26 54
Don't Freak Out, But My Bed Is Haunted

22
20 51
Let's Watch That Scene In Halloween 3 Where The Kid's Head Explodes