Culture

The Worst Things To Say To Someone After Sex  

Jacob Shelton
3.4k votes 615 voters 29.2k views 22 items

List Rules Vote up the most cringe-worthy post-coital comments.

Even if you're lucky enough to have a successful hookup, there are still plenty of ways to mess it up after you've done the deed. Nothing kills moods quite like awkward post-coital encounters. Things you shouldn't say to a sexual partner range from the obvious ("Should I order you a Lyft?") to the subtle ("Does this mean we have to follow each other on Twitter?"). The absolute worst lines might be the ones that involve family members, but dropping any of these phrases instantly labels a person as someone who has awful post-coital manners.

What not to say in bed should be obvious to both parties. But if you have the unfortunate luck of ending up on the receiving end of one of these lines, your fun evening is likely to become a sex horror story. Make up a reason to leave (or boot them out), and have an excuse to avoid sex ready in case they try to text you later.

1
Thank God That's Over With
2
Well, That Was Regrettable
3
Your Body Wasn't What I Expected
4
Should I Order You An Uber Or Do You Prefer Lyft?
5
I Can't Wait To Call My Mom
6
You Look Just Like My Dad
7
That'll Be $50
8
Everyone's Got HPV Now Right?
9
Good Thing You Have Red Sheets
10
So That's Sex
11
Baby, You're Ready To Meet The Kids
12
That Was A Top 50 Performance
13
I've Got To Get Up Pretty Early Tomorrow
14
I Came Here To Chew Bubble Gum And Have Sex And I'm All Out Of Sex
15
I'm Totally Putting This In My Act
16
Does This Mean We Have To Follow Each Other On Twitter?
17
*Using A Faux Daft Punk Voice* ONE MORE TIME
18
How Many Calories Do You Think We Burned?
19
Did You Know That The Moon Is A Hologram?
20
Don't Freak Out, But My Bed Is Haunted
21
Did You Know That [Anything] Was A False Flag Operation?
22
Let's Watch That Scene In Halloween 3 Where The Kid's Head Explodes