Funny The Worst Things To Say To Someone After Sex  

Jacob Shelton
3k votes 576 voters 27.4k views 22 items

List Rules Vote up the most cringe-worthy post-coital comments.

Even if you're lucky enough to have a successful hookup, there are still plenty of ways to mess it up after you've done the deed. Nothing kills moods quite like awkward post-coital encounters. Things you shouldn't say to a sexual partner range from the obvious ("Should I order you a Lyft?") to the subtle ("Does this mean we have to follow each other on Twitter?"). The absolute worst lines might be the ones that involve family members, but dropping any of these phrases instantly labels a person as someone who has awful post-coital manners.

What not to say in bed should be obvious to both parties. But if you have the unfortunate luck of ending up on the receiving end of one of these lines, your fun evening is likely to become a sex horror story. Make up a reason to leave (or boot them out), and have an excuse to avoid sex ready in case they try to text you later.

list ordered by

1
149 43
Thank God That's Over With

2
177 61
Your Body Wasn't What I Expected

3
146 46
Well, That Was Regrettable

4
150 63
I Can't Wait To Call My Mom

5
148 62
Should I Order You An Uber Or Do You Prefer Lyft?

6
121 51
You Look Just Like My Dad

7
126 60
That'll Be $50

8
104 45
Everyone's Got HPV Now Right?

9
85 46
Good Thing You Have Red Sheets

10
88 57
So That's Sex

11
78 54
Baby, You're Ready To Meet The Kids

12
54 40
That Was A Top 50 Performance

13
67 71
I've Got To Get Up Pretty Early Tomorrow

14
39 57
Does This Mean We Have To Follow Each Other On Twitter?

15
36 54
I Came Here To Chew Bubble Gum And Have Sex And I'm All Out Of Sex

16
43 65
*Using A Faux Daft Punk Voice* ONE MORE TIME

17
36 56
I'm Totally Putting This In My Act

18
38 62
How Many Calories Do You Think We Burned?

19
38 64
Did You Know That The Moon Is A Hologram?

20
28 62
Don't Freak Out, But My Bed Is Haunted

21
34 72
Did You Know That [Anything] Was A False Flag Operation?

22
24 59
Let's Watch That Scene In Halloween 3 Where The Kid's Head Explodes