Yes, people love Uber because it's so useful. Already totally wasted on a Friday night or planning to get totally wasted on a Friday night? Just request a car through the ride-sharing app. It's safe, it's usually pretty cheap, and it gives you the opportunity to send some pretty hilarious drunk texts. Sure, you may have to rub shoulders with other gross, sweaty, intolerably intoxicated fellow passengers if you opt for the Uber carpool option, but hey, some people have found timely hookups during their shared rides.
Don't think you've seen all there is to see during your various rides, though. The drivers, especially the ones in Prius hybrids, are the absolute authority on all things weird. There are multiple types of Uber drivers, but all of them converge on Reddit to rant about their passengers. Ever wonder why you got a less-than-perfect rating during that ride a few months ago? Chances are your driver raged about how you were just too chatty. He probably also defamed you online. Maybe you're one of the horrible passengers to make it on this list. We can only hope.
His Passenger Relieved Herself On His Leg
From Reddit user hobbestigertx:
Here's my worst rider so far...
I drive in Dallas usually on Friday and Saturday nights. About 1:00am I get pinged for a pickup on McKinney Ave downtown. I was going to just shut down and go home, but surge was 3x so I figure maybe I'd get lucky with a long trip to Plano or someplace.
I fight through the traffic (which is always terrible) and pull up to the bar. Put my flashers on but no one comes over. Text the rider and look to see someone pulling out their phone. I see an early 20 something blonde girl pull out her phone-she's is absolutely wasted.
I get out and call her name. She looks at me and promptly falls down. A guy helps her up and he's feeling her up while he's at it. I walk over, tell him to take a hike, and help her to my car. Put her in the back seat and it's clear that she's is beyond wasted. She's also wearing a little jumper and falling out of it. I put the seat belt on her and ask her for the address. She's practically incoherent, but gives me her address. At this point, I am wondering if she's been slipped something.
I drive her to the address which is uptown (about 5 minutes away) and stop. She is passed out in the back seat and wreaks so badly of alcohol it is nauseating. I help her out and she falls into the street. I pick her up and walk her to the door of her apartment building. She is struggling to get her keys out of her bag and she kind of leans back into me with her butt on my thigh to keep her balance. She can't make her key work so she buzzes her roommate.
We are waiting for her roommate to come down and open the door, and it was then that the leg of my jeans began to feel wet. Yep, she pissed all over my leg down into my sock and shoe. I help her roommate get her to the elevator, say goodbye, and head back out to my car.
When I get to the car, I say "fuck it" and take off my shoes, socks, and pants. I ball them up into plastic bag I had in the car and put them in the back. I drove home in my boxers...
One Passenger Was Rather Crappy
From Reddit user LITTLE-GUNTER:
Had a guy shit himself in my backseat.
One Of His Sorority Girl Passengers Urinated On The Sidewalk
From Reddit user Tokotork:
I once picked up this group of five girls from the University about 10 minutes away from ours. They were acting like the typical drunk sorority girls as far as I could tell, and I was actually enjoying talking to them for the most part. Well, whenever we're literally one minute away from the party house, the girl in my passenger seat opens my door while I'm going 30+ mph and vomits all over my window, door, and dashboard.
I obviously pull over to make sure she's alright, to assess the damage, and to get my damn door closed. While I'm stopped, this girl's friend makes the brilliant decision to get out of the car, drop trou, and just piss on the sidewalk. I'm obviously stunned at how trashy these girls are being (it was 10:30 pm), but ultimately they all get back in and we drive the final minute to the party. When we get there, they all just pile out and say "thanks" with absolutely no effort to help clean my vomit covered car.
Drunk Girls Pointed A Fake Gun At His Head
From a former Reddit user:
Boring horror story, two weeks ago I drove two young girls home around 3am on a Friday night. Quiet and polite passengers but when they get out I find they've literally stabbed up my back seat and dashcam review shows they were making 'gun hand' gestures at me during the trip. They paid for a new seat, full retail price. Attacking someone driving a car you're in seems suicidal but drunk bitches be crazy. I watch the rear view closer now.