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Janitors Describe Their Most WTF Stories

Updated November 6, 2017 421.4k views19 items
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Everybody's had a crappy job, but imagine if your job was just that. Janitors and custodians are the unsung heroes running the scenes behind any well-operating school, hospital or office. They stay until the wee hours of the morning cleaning up wee. When sh*t hits the wall, it is literally their duty to wipe it off. Custodial work is not for the lazy or the faint of heart, so we've learned.

A brilliant mind over at Reddit posed the ultimate question to janitors across the world: what was the most WTF moment of their career? If you think it's just cleaning up your run of the mill mess, you will be very rudely awakened. Grab your mops and barf buckets, because it's about to get dirty.
  • Man poops in mall bathroom sink

    "I worked in a mall in Nanaimo, British Columbia. I mainly cleaned the floors in the early morning and washrooms through the day. I've seen all the typical sh*t artists writing on walls etc.

    But one day there was a full turd in the men's bathroom sink.

    Someone had to have sat on the counter and pushed one out during regular mall hours.

    Anyone could have walked in. There was no toilet paper in the sink or nearby... I radioed security to come check it out cause I wasn't sure what to do and when the guy showed up he lost it and was swearing and super pissed off.... I just sprayed it with heavy duty cleaners and left the tap running until it went away.... but really who sh*ts in a mall sink?!"

  • Vet janitor left to clean up possum carcass puked up by dog

    "Janitor at vet hospital. A dog came in on emergency with a distended stomach. After meds were given, he threw up half an opossum, in bits. I threw up for twenty minutes after helping mop up."
  • Girls deface movie theatre bathroom with poop and blood graffiti during "Twilight" release

    "Movie theatre. Twilight releases. Separate occasions.

    'Team Jacob' written in sh*t in a woman's restroom stall.

    Next release? 'Team Edward' written in period blood in a woman's restroom stall."

  • Haz-mat worker called to house flooded with sewage and cleanup goes horribly wrong

    "Not a janitor but biohazard clean up.

    Got a call from real estate agent about a bad smell in a listing. When we got there owner met us, said windows and doors were sticking. We began the inspection I opened the door to the basement stairs and was hit by the smell in concentrated form. I shined my flashlight and the top step was under 'water' (sewage actually). The entire basement was flooded with 10 feet of raw sewage. This was not the worst part.

    The city came and opened a manhole for us. At this time I'm standing 15 feet away telling the property owner procedure and payment. Gas powered pump is placed, bell dropped in basement, and discharge hose placed in manhole. I'm not wearing PPE at this time. Pump is started. I continue to talk, guy is standing over manhole in PPE watching the hose. After about five minutes guy walks a few feet to back of van and the hose decides to dance. Four inch wide discharge hose is now out of the manhole spraying raw sewage 20+ feet up in the air. It was nothing but asses and elbows. I outran the homeowner.

    Fire department had to come and wash the street along with several parked cars."