10 Utterly Insane Things You Didn't Know About Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage is the only person where if you hear that he was woken up by a naked stranger eating a Fudgsicle you think, "okay, sure, yeah, that makes sense." 

Anyway, so that happened to him.

When he was promoting the film Trespass (directed by Joel Schumacher), Cage disclosed that he'd actually lived through a home invasion himself. To wit: 

“It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgsicle in front of my bed...”

He said he knows it sounds funny, but that it was horrifying at the time. The impressive part is that he could identify exactly what kind of frozen treat he was eating, and that it was his jacket (maybe the guy got to keep the jacket, who can say). He started talking to the man and led him out of the house where the police were waiting. Cage didn't press charges because the man was severely mentally ill. 

After that, he couldn't stay in the house again and moved to the Bahamas. Because that's what you did after suffering from a really weird, traumatizing home invasion; you move to the Bahamas. At least you do if you're Nicolas Cage. Again, are you Nicloas Cage? Because that would be so, so great. 

As Reddit user The_Fassbender put it, "“Nick, you've already won the award for Weirdest Human Being In All Of History. You can chill the f*ck out now. The rest of this is all overkill.” 

According to The Sun, an organization that at some point had an employee who had to hear him say this out loud and hope to God that their tape recorder/iPhone didn't give out in the middle of the sentence, Cage said, "I love all animals. I have a fascination with fish, birds, whales - sentient life - insects, reptiles.

"I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don't eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl."

So next time you're tempted to yell at one of your vegetarian friends for having "dumb reasons" for their eating habits, just keep this in your pocket and let people do what they do. At least you're not going out to a restaurant with Nicolas Cage for the 90th time and hearing him say this to new friends that you were hoping would just think you're normal for once. 

Leave it to Nicolas Cage to get stalked by a male mime. Not some dude who threatens to eat his skin, or your run-of-the mill Single White Female replacement junkie, or even the kind of stalker that sends you nice cards all the time, but a silent, weird, useless mime. 

Now, you may not understand how one gets stalked by a mime, but the only explanation that could possibly work is what he told Parade magazine: 

“I was being stalked by a mime — silent but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would appear on the set of Bringing Out the Dead and start doing strange things. I have no idea how it got past security. Finally, the producers took some action and I haven’t seen the mime since. But it was definitely unsettling.”

Whyyy- Why? Why? There are so many unanswered questions, like what exactly was the mime doing that was so "strange" and why was it seen as stalking? Also, does Nic Cage just makes weird fart jokes when describing terrifying life events? Is that a thing? Maybe the mime was method and would not break silence to explain himself and was warded off by the producers for good.

But, okay, if you're going to stalk someone, why dress up as a classic mime? Maybe the person watched a bunch of old movies where there were different kinds of cabaret dancers, elephants, and other exotic characters on movie lots and he thought "okay, I can do a mime, nobody will the wiser!" He probably thought it was a very good disguise just from watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure. This is the only possible explanation. End of speculation. 

"I am a truly dedicated fan of Mr. Cage and will not be granting any interviews about my client as I wish to protect his privacy." 

                                                                  - Dog the Bounty Hunter

Yes, Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman  posted the $11,000 bond to get his friend Nicolas Cage out of jail after he was arrested for public drunkenness, domestic violence, and disturbing the peace in New Orleans. Ah, the Big Easy. You bring out the best in Monsieur Cage.  

Cage allegedly got into a heated fight with his wife in a tattoo parlor. They took it to the street, where he pushed her, proceeded to punch a bunch of cars, and yelled at police to arrest him. Then they did. His wife at the time didn't want to press charges.

Mr. The Bounty Hunter added:

“ I performed my duties as a bail bondsman and not in connection with our show. This is what I do for a living. There are two sides of my job: I release my clients after they have been arrested; and pick them up if they don't show up in court. I do not believe the latter will be the case for Mr. Cage.”

Now, everyone knows Nicolas Cage bought over 50 cars, two islands, a handful of yachts, a castle, a jet, and a dinosaur skull. That's some basic sh*t. But, did you know he also bought an octopus? Octopuses are basically aliens: they have at least 12 tissues found in no other animal, possess incredibly advanced problem-solving abilities, and attract a particular kind of human being: Nicolas Cage. 

As part of what was allegedly a $276,000 spending spree, he got two poisonous king cobras and an octopus. He bought a whole damn octopus. His excuse for buying the octopus, though, was that it would, "help him with his acting." What? How? How, Mr. Cage? Maybe this is something that he said so that he could write it off. And maybe he didn't understand tax law that well. And maybe that's why he is where he is today. Aw.