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11 Utterly Insane Things You Didn't Know About Nicolas Cage

List RulesUpvote the stories that, after reading them (or at least the headline), cause you to make an actual sound.

Everybody knows that Nicolas Cage changed his name from "Nicolas Coppola" to avoid nepotism since he's part of the Coppola (as in Francis Ford Coppola) family. Everybody knows that he was almost in a weird Superman movie written by Kevin Smith where Superman didn't fly, he fought a giant spider in it, Superman didn't even fly, and he got paid $20 million for it even though it never happened. And yes, everybody knows that his namesake is Luke Cage, the Marvel comics character. This article isn't for that. That's beginner-level Nicolas Cage knowledge. You know, real Day One sh*t. This is for the stuff that you actually (probably) didn't know. You should know, at most, 3 things on this list. If you know more than that, then you either have a serious Internet addiction, are a huge next-level Cage fan, or you are Nicolas Cage. Thank you for reading this, Mr. Cage. The Rock is a great favorite film. Is the car chase in that movie what inspired you to make Gone in 60 Seconds?

Sorry. Back to you, you're reading this. 

Nicolas Cage stories usually involve people seeing him on airplanes, in Vegas coming out of liquor stores at 9 in the morning, at Target, or weirdly at a pet store (he has a lot of pets). This list doesn't even mention all the crazy sh*t that Nicolas cage has bought over the years. He's got poisonous snakes and anti-venom on the wall in case someone gets bitten by one of them, a whole metric f*ckton of purebred dogs, a castle, but still, those aren't on here.

This is a list of WTF Nicolas Cage stories that'll give you at least one thing to pull out at a party or family gathering, and will make you look so well-read that everyone's heads will grow to the size of that one Nicolas Cage picture where his head is a bird. Their minds will be blown, that's what is happening in that awesome simile. You're about to reach the height of the Hollywood scholar you were meant to be. This is your destiny. And maybe, just maybe, you can tell these facts to Nicolas Cage and he'll finally love you. Did this get weird? Yes? Well, it's about to get a whole lot weirder. Strap in, b*tches. 

And if you're a fan, check out our Nick Cage movies list and cast your vote -- we know you wanna.

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    He Was Stalked By A Mime

    Photo: Sophe89 / flickr / CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0

    Leave it to Nicolas Cage to get stalked by a male mime. Not some dude who threatens to eat his skin, or your run-of-the mill Single White Female replacement junkie, or even the kind of stalker that sends you nice cards all the time, but a silent, weird, useless mime. 

    Now, you may not understand how one gets stalked by a mime, but the only explanation that could possibly work is what he told Parade magazine

    “I was being stalked by a mime — silent but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would appear on the set of Bringing Out the Dead and start doing strange things. I have no idea how it got past security. Finally, the producers took some action and I haven’t seen the mime since. But it was definitely unsettling.”

    Whyyy- Why? Why? There are so many unanswered questions, like what exactly was the mime doing that was so "strange" and why was it seen as stalking? Also, does Nic Cage just makes weird fart jokes when describing terrifying life events? Is that a thing? Maybe the mime was method and would not break silence to explain himself and was warded off by the producers for good.

    But, okay, if you're going to stalk someone, why dress up as a classic mime? Maybe the person watched a bunch of old movies where there were different kinds of cabaret dancers, elephants, and other exotic characters on movie lots and he thought "okay, I can do a mime, nobody will the wiser!" He probably thought it was a very good disguise just from watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure. This is the only possible explanation. End of speculation. 

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    He Chose A Venomous Copperhead Over A Non-Venomous One For A Scene So He Could "Relax"

    Photo: Wikipedia

    You know those people who tell you that coffee "makes them tired" and that certain things "don't work on them," etc.? Nicolas Cage is clearly one of those people, and he brought it to whole new extremes when he was filming a movie where they had a four-page scene that required a literal snake in the grass.

    A copperhead snake, to be exact.

    They had a snake with no poison/venom in it and Cage said, for realsies, “You know what, I think we really need to take a chance here and use a real snake and pick it up and use it in the scene... It’s a big scene and I think it will relax me.” It will relax him.

    Luckily the interviewer over at The Talks had the same question you just did and Cage answered “I’m one of those people that when I do stunts or drink a lot of coffee it calms me down. And I like what it can offer in terms of creativity – you could feel the focus on set. You don’t have to act. If you can avoid acting and get to the truth of it and be in the moment, something magical will happen.”

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    He Hijacked A Plane's PA And Almost Got Arrested With Charlie Sheen (Who Had Cocaine)

    Video: YouTube

    Nicolas Cage keeps some strange company. God knows how you become friends with Nicolas Cage. But this one time Nicolas Cage, halfway through a flight he was on with Charlie Sheen, got on the PA and told everyone he was the pilot, that he was not feeling well, and that he was losing control of the aircraft. You know, that ol' hilarious chestnut. 

    After they landed, the pilot came out and yelled at Cage, "not cool. Not f*cking cool!" At this point, the door to the airplane came open and there were six armed police officers waiting for them. This is when Nicolas Cage's blind luck came in. He pointed to Sheen and said, "he had nothing to do with it." 

    Sheen had an eight ball of cocaine wrapped around his ankle, by the way. 

    He then just "very gingerly, very delicately, and very politely talked my way out of going to airport jail."

    BONUS: Charlie Sheen and Nicolas Cage once flew from LA to San Francisco (they really should have a reality show where the two just go on domestic flights) and Cage referred to one of the flight attendants as a "Goddess" and that's where Sheen got the idea to call women "Goddesses." Which, if you didn't know, is a thing he does. For some reason. It's what he calls the women in his life. And it's weird.  

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    He's Going To Be Buried In A Pyramid

    You know whenever you think about winning the lottery and the first thing that occurs to you is houses, cars, traveling, helping out your loved ones, and generally fixing your life? Well, this is what happens when you've done all that and have more money than God (before the IRS takes it all away). You decide to buy a burial plot in New Orleans (if you're as obsessed with New Orleans as Nicolas Cage is) and you decide that you're going to know what your tomb looks like before you die, and that said tomb will be a pyramid. 

    The Ghost Rider himself has actually bought other property in New Orleans. For example, he bought a haunted house there before he had to give it up due to his tax issues, since that's a thing that totally sane people do all the time.  

    The grave is currently unoccupied, stands at nine feet tall, and is made entirely of stone. It has no name on it yet, but sits there waiting for Nicolas Cage's untimely demise. He's never told anyone, publicly, why he bought it, but the reasoning is somewhere along the lines of "I-I-I I mean, I don't know. Okay? It was there. YOU try not buying it!" Either that or he has some mystical reasoning that goes back to ancient Egypt that would take about three stiff drinks to be able to sit through.

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