Everyone has thought about surviving a zombie apocalypse. It's just smart to prepare for the certainty by scoping out the best places to live, what weapons to use, and whether to join up with others or carry on alone.
What most people never think about are their odds of zombie apocalypse survival by zodiac sign. People use horoscopes all of the time to make decisions in their life, present reasoning for their fears or personality, or to determine compatibility with a significant other, so why not estimate their apocalypse survival rate based on zodiac signs?
Once you have your astrological apocalypse plan in place, you can use this handy guide to figure which friends are expendable and which you'll need to start sucking up to ASAP.
Aries are very confident in their ability to do just about anything; on the flip side, they're also prone to impatience, aggression, and making impulsive decisions. When those qualities meet the zombie apocalypse, you've got a recipe for disaster.
An Aries will quickly join up with neighboring survivors before moving seamlessly into a leadership role after a showcase of their natural-born talents. Once in charge, the impetuous sign insists on meeting the zombie threat head on. This ends badly for the Aries leader and their group, as the plans are short-sighted, the weapons haphazardly chosen, and a zest for a challenge clouded their judgment concerning taking such a risk.
The onset of the zombie apocalypse is hell realized for a Taurus, as it disrupts their familiar habits and sense of stability. Since Tauruses can also be possessive, it makes sense that this Earth sign hunkers down in their home and patiently waits out the death and destruction around them. They are with their food and their comfy bed and do not care to share.
While other people are moving from place to place, a Taurus will put their determination and work ethic to the test by finding new ways to solve problems caused by the apocalypse and strengthening their home against possible attacks. Sure, they miss music when the electric grids shut down, but their stubborn need to overcome this bump in the road keeps them on track and moving forward.
A Gemini will be able to adapt fairly well to society falling apart, so long as they are able to find some new friends to talk with in order to glean as much new information as possible. This sign falls in with the first set of survivors they meet in an attempt to avoid a solitary life, but soon begin to question their decision.
While in the group, Gemini makes lots of friends with their innate ability to talk to anyone. They become the group member everyone comes to when they need some genuine human interaction or feedback about ideas.
Alas, the Gemini soon begins to crack under the pressure of being confined to one place. They start to lash out at the routine of their new life. As soon as a new group or a new set of circumstances presents itself, Gemini will jump ship and start the cycle all over again.
A Cancer doesn't trust anyone they don't already know. This works out amazingly well for their family and friends, but not so much for any strangers who try to join their gang of survivors.
Generally, Cancer would gladly walk to their death in a group of frenzied zombies if it means protecting a beloved family member. Until that day arrives, Cancer is able to persuade their group to keep moving forward while providing emotional support to anyone struggling with this new life.
This self-sacrificing attitude doesn't bode well for longevity, however; if a Cancer survives the first week of the apocalypse, everyone will be surprised.
Leos don't mean to be such an attention-seeking goof, but that's just how they're wired. 10 times out of 10, they will grab the spotlight by any means necessary - zombie apocalypse be damned.
Leo is able to easily join a group of survivors by telling a joke to lighten the mood and sharing their water. Unfortunately, once in the fold, Leo's tendency toward laziness and their inability to bend to the will of others gets old quickly.
When a Leo pitches a fit after their latest attempt to convince new group members to wait on them hand and foot fails, they are kicked out of the group and left to fend for themselves. Suffice to say, it does not end well for them.
Here's Virgo's firsthand analysis of the zombie apocalypse: Find a large group and make yourself useful. So that's what they do. Once a Virgo chooses their fellow survivors, after practical reasoning and analytically calculating their viability in the new surroundings, they are loyal to them and plan to stay put.
Though they are shy, Virgo's ability to work around the clock, coupled with the kind way they interact with the children in the group, wins everyone over. They make themselves an asset to the group, which allows others to overlook how critical they can be of the decisions made.
Since Virgos are not very good at balancing work with play, they soon tire themselves out and fall behind when changing camps one day. The zombies attack and Virgo realizes they miscalculated how much sleep they needed the night before - eight hours should always be a priority, even during azombie apocalypse.
