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What Type Of Zombie Are You, According To Your Zodiac?

Updated May 31, 2019 12.8k views12 items

Your zodiac sign can tell you many things about yourself. From how you seek love to how you respond in a crisis, people frequently look to the stars for guidance. One of the most important questions people are asking when it comes to what your horoscope can tell you is what kind of zombie you are. Given the possibility of a zombie apocalypse, it might be nice to know if you'd still be able to play video games with your pal Shaun or raise your child and keep up with your booming real estate business.

You might think there is only one type of zombie, the shambling, incoherent, deteriorating monsters who wander around moaning about brains. The truth is, there are dozens of zombies out there, with a wide variety of personalities, and you could be any one of them. Are you more of an impulsive 28 Days Later kind of zombie? Are you the moody, slow-walking type? Or are you active and determined, thinking through your next meal with precision? Your zombie zodiac will tell you.

  • Aries are ruled by Mars, which makes them fiery, impetuous, and often quick to anger. So what zombie could they be other than the furious, fast-moving zombies of the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead? These creatures will bust into your house and come straight for you. They are sometimes impulsive and unable to take a step back, which makes them easy to trick. Like all Aries, they are utterly relentless in the pursuit of their goals - which in this case, is devouring your living flesh. 

  • Towards the end of Shaun of the Dead, Shaun's best friend gets turned into a zombie. Good news is he still likes playing video games and hanging out with his buddy Shaun. That's Tauruses in a nutshell. Any zombie that still loves its creature comforts, that likes to relax and play some video games at the end of a long day of brain-eating, definitely fits with the sign of the Bull.

  • Ah, the Gemini. One minute they're walking along, having an ordinary conversation, and the next they're getting ready to tear your face off, which makes them more than a little like the zombies from 28 Days Later. While not zombies in the strictest sense, these "rage-infected" people can change their mood at the drop of a hat, as we see when bird fluids transform a character into a lunatic in mere minutes. The twin sign and the infected both wrestle with a kind of Jekyll and Hyde syndrome, though most Geminis aren't looking to actually take a bite out of you. 

  • Zombies were not always depicted as mobs of enraged and hungry animals. Originally, the zombie was a voodoo concept and referred to reanimated enslaved people who existed to mindlessly serve their masters (the racial politics of these early zombie movies were not subtle). These zombies are less likely to eat your brains and more likely to serve you a cup of tea at the behest of their master. This makes them a lot like Cancers.

    Cancers are nurturing and intuitive, and they have a flair for the domestic. They have a knack for serving the people in their lives and prefer emotional attention to material collections. 

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