The Best 'Zoolander' Movie Quotes

Voting Rules
Vote up your favorite quotes from the movie 'Zoolander.'

Zoolander movie quotes allow viewers to get inside the head of three-time male model of the year Derek Zoolander as he ponders the important things, like if there is more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. So grab an orange mocha frappaccino and some crazy pills and enjoy the finer moments from the 2001 comedy film Zoolander.

Starring the likes of Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and Christine Taylor, Zoolander provides a look into the competitive world of male modeling, Two models, Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson), go from being sworn enemies to joining forces to stop an evil assassination attempt by clothing designer Jacobim Mugatu to kill the Prime Rib Roast, erm, Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Along the way, viewers learn that being a male model is tough, especially when all of your roommates die in a freak gasoline fight accident and you have to give their eugoogooly at the funeral, then someone offers you a center for ants instead of a Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn How to Do Others Things Good Too. It gets worse when you're not an ambi-turner, you know, someone who can't turn left, and you're brainwashed at a day, spelled D-A-I-Y-E, spa.

As awesome as these funny Zoolander quotes are, the film was considered somewhat of a flop when it was first released. It later became somewhat of a cult favorite and attracted such a strong following that Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and many others signed on to produce the sequel.

Click here to watch the full movie.

Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY

  • 1
    30 VOTES


    Video: YouTube

    Matilda: Uh, Derek, I don't know if you're familiar with the belief that some aboriginal tribes hold. It's the concept that a photo might steal a part of your soul. I mean, what are your thoughts on that as someone who gets his picture taken for a living?

    Derek Zoolander: Well, I guess I would have to answer your question with another question. How many abodiginals do you see modeling?

    30 votes
  • 2
    50 VOTES

    I'm Not An Ambi-Turner

    I'm Not An Ambi-Turner
    Video: YouTube

    Derek Zoolander: And all he had to do was turn left.

    Matilda: What do you mean?

    Derek Zoolander: I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left.

    Matilda: Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can't turn...I mean, there have got to be some people out there just like you who can't...turn...turn...left.

    50 votes
  • 3
    58 VOTES

    A Bad Eugoogoolizer

    A Bad Eugoogoolizer
    Video: YouTube

    Matilda: Derek? Derek, hey!

    Derek Zoolander: What do you want?

    Matilda: Actually, I'm trying to talk to Mugatu but he's tougher to get to than the president.

    Derek Zoolander: Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?

    Matilda: A what?

    Derek Zoolander: A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals.
    (Matilda looks at Derek confused)

    Derek Zoolander: Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

    58 votes
  • 4
    48 VOTES

    You Can Read Minds?

    You Can Read Minds?
    Video: YouTube

    Matilda: I couldn't understand why I didn't look like them. I just didn't get it so I became, so, um, I became...

    Hansel: What?

    Matilda: Bulimic.

    Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

    48 votes
  • 5
    47 VOTES

    Ex-Squeeze Me, But Have You Ever Heard of Styling Gel?

    Ex-Squeeze Me, But Have You Ever Heard of Styling Gel?
    Video: YouTube

    Brint: Or the way Hansel combs his hair?

    Meekus: Or like, doesn't, it's like, ex-squeeze me, but have you ever heard of styling gel?

    Brint: I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel, he's a male model.

    Meekus: Uh, earth to Brint, I was making a joke.

    Brint: Uh, earth to Meekus, duh, I knew that!

    Meekus: Uh earth to Brint, I'm not so sure you did cuz you were all 'well I'm sure he's heard of styling gel' like you didn't know it was a joke! Ha ha ha!

    Brint: I knew it was a joke Meekus, I just didn't get it right away!

    Meekus: Earth to Brint...

    Derek Zoolander: Would you guys stop it already?

    47 votes
  • 6
    27 VOTES

    Why Do You Hate Male Models, Matilda?

    Why Do You Hate Male Models, Matilda?
    Video: YouTube

    Derek Zoolander: Why do you hate models, Matilda?

    Matilda: Honestly?

    Hansel: Yes.

    Matilda: I think they're vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered.

    Hansel: I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?

    27 votes