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The Best 'Zoolander' Movie Quotes

"Zoolander" movie quotes allow viewers to get inside the head of three-time male model of the year Derek Zoolander as he ponders the important things, like if there is more to life than being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. So grab an orange mocha frappaccino and some crazy pills and enjoy the finer moments from the 2001 comedy film "Zoolander."

Starring the likes of Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and Christine Taylor, "Zoolander" provides a look into the competitive world of male modeling, Two models, Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson), go from being sworn enemies to joining forces to stop an evil assassination attempt by clothing designer Jacobim Mugatu to kill the Prime Rib Roast, erm, Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Along the way, viewers learn that being a male model is tough, especially when all of your roommates die in a freak gasoline fight accident and you have to give their eugoogooly at the funeral, then someone offers you a center for ants instead of a Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn How to Do Others Things Good Too. It gets worse when you're not an ambi-turner, you know, someone who can't turn left, and you're brainwashed at a day, spelled D-A-I-Y-E, spa.

As awesome as these funny "Zoolander" quotes are, the film was considered somewhat of a flop when it was first released. It later became somewhat of a cult favorite and attracted such a strong following that Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and many others have signed on to produce a sequel, set to hit theaters in 2013. So practice your Blue Steel, your La Tigra and of course your Magnum. Zoolander is back, baby!

Click here to watch the full movie.

  • 1
    28 VOTES

    Why Do You Hate Male Models, Matilda?

    Video: YouTube

    Derek Zoolander: "Why do you hate models, Matilda?"
    Matilda: "Honestly?"
    Hansel: "Yes."
    Matilda: "I think they're vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered."
    Hansel: "I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?"

    For a couple of male models who moments earlier were sworn enemies, Hansel and Derek Zoolander certainly make a good team when they pair up against Matilda for some highly stimulating talks. That's not the only thing they tag-team in the film but that's all we can describe in the PG version here.

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  • 2
    41 VOTES

    You Can Read Minds?

    Video: YouTube

    Matilda: "I couldn't understand why I didn't look like them. I just didn't get it so I became, so, um, I became..."
    Hansel: "What?"
    Matilda: "Bulimic"
    Derek Zoolander: "You can read minds?"

    Since clearly Derek and Hansel see nothing wrong with throwing up after every meal, especially right before a big shoot or show, they are utterly perplexed when Matilda admits that she suffered from bulimia. To make matters worse, Derek confuses being bulimic with being someone who can read others' minds, which are two things that could not be more different from one another.

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  • 3
    42 VOTES

    I'm Not An Ambi-Turner

    Derek Zoolander: "And all he had to do was turn left."
    Matilda: "What do you mean?"
    Derek Zoolander: "I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left."
    Matilda: "Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who can't turn...I mean, there have got to be some people out there just like you who can't...turn...turn...left."

    Showing us interesting new conditions we've never heard of before, Derek Zoolander painfully explains to Matilda about his problem turning... left. As Derek's agent Maury later explains, some models go right at the end of the runway and others turn left. Derek is no ambi-turner, he does not turn left.

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  • 4
    38 VOTES

    Ex-Squeeze Me, But Have You Ever Heard of Styling Gel?

    Video: YouTube

    Brint: "Or the way Hansel combs his hair? "
    Meekus: "Or like, doesn't, it's like, ex-squeeze me, but have you ever heard of styling gel?"
    Brint: "I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel, he's a male model."
    Meekus: "Uh, earth to Brint, I was making a joke."
    Brint: "Uh, earth to Meekus, duh, I knew that!"
    Meekus: "Uh earth to Brint, I'm not so sure you did cuz you were all 'well I'm sure he's heard of styling gel' like you didn't know it was a joke! Ha ha ha!"
    Brint: "I knew it was a joke Meekus, I just didn't get it right away!"
    Meekus: "Earth to Brint..."
    Derek Zoolander: "Would you guys stop it already?"

    Nothing is funnier than a group of really ridiculously good looking, but extremely eggheaded male models arguing about styling gel. That is of course until you add in an Earth-to in every sentence! Rest in peace Brint, Meekus and Rufus.


    Click here to watch Zoolander.

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